If you're wondering if someone's become a vampire, there's an easy way to tell. A true vampire is always coffin.
Why are 40 romans funny?
Because they are XD.
What cheesy dip do deer love to eat?
Fawn-due.
What do you call a dog that’s been left outside in the cold?
A chili dog.
What's the fastest thing on the river bed?
A motor-pike and side-carp.
What does a goat call his girlfriend?
Bae.
Why did the hunter miss his mark?
He was not aiming deerectly for it.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
How many lips does a flower have?
Tulips.
Heard a joke about urinals, but it didn't make me laugh.
I guess you had to pee there.
It’s too bad that bread puns are always so crumby. Mmm . . . crumbs.
What did the frustrated doctor say to the nurse?
Gauze dammit!
Why do comedians hate telling jokes at zombie night?
All they hear is groans.
What do you call a gorilla with a million dollars?
A gorillanaire
The bartender asks one of The Beach Boys what they’d like, so he looks back to his friends
“Get a round?” “Round?” “Round?” “I’ll get a round!”
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two...
What do you call the Greek God of Mexican chickens?
Apollo
What do you call a bee that lives in a mud hive?
An adobee!
Who’s the patron saint of poverty?
St. Nickeless.
Why shouldn’t you shoot an alligator?
He’ll just bite the bullet and make the best of it.
'what's the Wifi password?'
'Its for security'
'Haha, yes, I know that. But what's the password?'.
'No, it's 'forsecurity'. All one word, lower case.'.
How did kids in Ancient Rome get their hair cut?
With little Caesar's.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
My deaf girlfriend just told me, “We need to talk.”
That is not a good sign.
After making love the other night, I told my husband that I love when the whispers sweet things in my ear...
So my hubby leaned in close and whispered... "Syrup."
What kind of work do pigs do after school?
Hamwork.
Don’t pass on this party – rush on over.
I knew a mathematician who couldn’t afford lunch.
He could binomial.
Send toast to ten tense stout saints’ ten tall tents.
What do you call it when you plant a tree at each corner of a house?
A fourest.
What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
Mole-tiple choice
What do you call an annoying person who plays the trumpet?
A brasshole.
Where do beavers keep their money? Well, they keep it in the riverbank.
Did you get a hair cut?
No, I got them all cut.
The sun is just a big space heater.
How do you spot a deer behind you? With hind-sight!
Why did they take Polly away?
He went crackers!
The glass eyeball manufacturer is having a promotion
An eye for an eye.
What did the salad lover say to his girlfriend?
You will Romaine in my heart forever ?
Q: What happens to a cherry tree when it grows up?
A: It blossoms
Subway - Lettuce know how we did.
The green light at the road signal looked at the red light and said, "Don't look while I am changing".
What does a caped monkey superhero drive?
A banana-mobile.
What was the most popular dance move in the colonies in 1776?
Indepen-dance.
How do you offer a camel tea?
"One hump or two?"
This very fair weather actually makes me feel like a feather!
I accidentally injured my girlfriend with a mouth organ.
I really didn't mean to harm Monica.
Be careful! Theres a deadly fruit on the loose
He has 7 charges of armed Strawbbery.
I know when I store files, my computer gets hungry. It starts telling me about the bytes I use and how many are remaining for him to fill up completely.
Go to BabaMail
