Flamingo parents are really cute with their babies. You should see them playing Beak a Boo.
What’s a gorilla’s favourite pop group? A: Bananarama!
Brother: "My friend John is in Greece studying abroad."
My Dad: "What's her name?"
What did the pillow say when the blanket asked it to come hang out?
I'm down
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
How do you spot a car made by Apple?
It does not have Windows.
How did the serve know when the bad serve was not with the hand? The server knew it was the foot fault.
Once I got peas stuck in my ear. I had to make people re-pea-t themselves.
When you’re smooching with your honey, and your nose is kinda runny, you may think it’s kinda funny, but it snot.
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
What type of flowers does everybody have? two-lips.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
She sold six shabby sheared sheep on ship.
How did the wife know her mountaineering husband was cheating on her? She caught Himalayan about it more than once.
Vampires love corny jokes and puns. I don't think they're funny, but it's probably to do with them being pun-dead.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
What’s a monsters favorite desert? I-Scream!
What do you get if you cross a chicken with an alarm?
An alarm cluck.
Can’t take my eyes off of her brewtiful face.
If you walk along a railroad track you may soon feel run down.
Why should you never do math with a tiger?
If you add 4+4 you're gonna get ate.
What kind of light goes around the earth? A Satel-lite.
There's a group of girls that love vampires at my school. I really want to join their fang club.
What does a straw and a view have in common?
You can get a paper straw and you can also get pay per view.
What did the little goats say when they were caught playing a prank on the sheep?
Sorry, we were just kidding.
My Karate teacher is getting a divorce.
He is a great Sensei, but he's not very skilled at the marital arts.
The only good pun is a dad pun
but who am I kidding?
Why did the hipster throw away his calculus book?
He found it too derivative.
I allow myself only one donut per year.
This morning I had 433 B.C., 1731, and 1952.
They call the first episode of a TV show a "Pilot", because anyone can fly a plane for a couple seconds....
But you have to prove your jokes can land.
What do you call an onion that is very valuable to jewelers? You call it a pearl onion.
Why did the cat decide to sleep under the car? Because she wanted to wake up oily!
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
Port whine!
Why will the fruits beat the vegetables?
They have a better punch!
I hopped on the bus yesterday afternoon. After a few minutes, the driver asked me to sit down like everyone else
What month always asks questions and permission?
May!
What did Katy Perry drink when she was little? Bust-Tea.
What is a chillin' banana's favorite song?
Mellow Yellow!
The science teacher decided to take her class out on a field trip to the mountains because all the kids in her class desperately needed higher grades.
What is a pink bird's favorite kind of dance? Flamenco.
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
When you cross a wolf and a monkey, you end up with a howler monkey.
Due to social distancing, I had a conversation with a spider today,
Seems nice, he’s a web designer.
What's an inmates favorite place to hangout? At the bars.
The only ship that has never docked on their harbor is the premiership.
Teaching babies to walk is hard, but you just have take it one step at a time.
Why was the criminal dubbed the Beer Runner let go after being arrested for stealing 23 beers?
'Cause the prosecutors didn't have a case.
She didn’t date the gardener. He was too rough around the hedges.
Checking in for a flight, I was asked, "Window or Aisle?"
I said, "Window or you'll do what?
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