What’s a milk’s favorite fruit? Cow-conuts.
My strategy is simple, knocking them down a pin at a time.
What do get when you cross a chili pepper, steam shovel, and a Chihuahua? Hot, diggety dog.
Where’s a dolphin’s favorite place to drink?
A dive bar!
Where is the best place to get camel milk?
Straight from the Dromedairy.
How did Henry VIII like his coffee? Decap.
What do donuts think about donut puns? They donut like them!
What kind of bears dissolve in water?
Polar bears.
Where did the Viking buy his guitar?
Nordstrom's
Why did the submarine driver lose his job
Old, racist tweets resurfaced
What type of knife do chefs use to connect to Bluetooth?
A pairing knife
All potato puns are pomme de terrible.
How does a dolphin do cocaine?
With its blow hole.
How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins!
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
What kind of car does a viking drive?
A fjord
He was going to sleep in a bucket of ice.
But then he got cold feet.
*nurse flips on a light switch*
“The Doctor will see you now.”
I broke my spine in an accident last year. Had a life saving operation to fix my neck which permanently locked my head in place.
Since then I've never looked back.
As the incessant rain washed away the blue paint of the house, the owner sighed and said, "Cyanara!"
How do clams call their friends?
Clams call their friends on their shell phones!
I killed a spider with soap
He got a clean death.
What did the giant say to Jack when he caught him sneaking around his castle?
"Have you bean stalking me?"
My electrician friend accidentally blew the power to the ice-making factory. Now they’ve gone into liquidation.
When I told my friend an onion pun, he started crying. I asked whether they were tears of happiness?
What did the perverted pumpkin use for his pick-up line?
Hey gourd-geous! Wanna go back to my place and squash?
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
I was on the way to the gorcer when I remembered, I need to put toothpaste on the grocery list.
My dad said, "Don't do that! It'll be all messy!"
Once a year, I take my family on a tour of various nuclear facilities.
While my kids like it, my wife says it’s just a power trip.
How does the moon take a bath?
It has meteor showers!
What did the real estate agent do when her buyer was on a budget?
She asked the listing agent what would be the condominimum offer the owner would take.
What’s the National Donut Day theme song?
“Donut Stop Believing.”
I like your tight end
How did the astronaut die?
exposure to Mercury.
The fruit bat ate the orange because of its appeal. It had such a nice color.
What do teenage deer do at slumber parties?
Truth or deer.
I hate it when the grammar Nazis single me out.
It seems like a which hunt.
An artist painted a wonderful fruit painting. It was a beautiful peach of work.
What’s the healthiest piece of furniture?
The vege-table
There are 2 unwritten rules for a successful marriage.
1: . 2: .
What is a pianist’s favorite cheese ?
Mozzartrella.
Two banks with different rates have a conflict of interest.
What did the Bluetooth say as the ship went down?
"Help! We’re syncing!"
How many berries could a bare berry carry,
if a bare berry could carry berries?
Well they can't carry berries
(which could make you very wary)
but a bare berry carried is more scary!
What do you get when your cross a bear and a tiger?
A bear and a tiger seeking revenge.
Why do basketball players love cookies? Because they can dunk them!
Yally Bally had a jolly golliwog. Feeling folly, Yally Bally Bought his jolly golli' a dollie made of holly! The golli', feeling jolly, named the holly dollie, Polly. So Yally Bally's jolly golli's holly dollie Polly's also jolly!
What is a nerdy alligator’s favorite programming language?
Jaw-va.
At what point will you love to change your bulbs the most?
When sparks fly.
What do you call a group of lions partying on ships in Gibraltar?
A strait pride parade.
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