Why are oranges the smartest fruit?
Because they are made to concentrate.
After his meal, the cannibal wipes his mouth and says: “My wife cooks the greatest soup in the world. But I will miss her so much.”
How can Irish people tell when it’s summer?
The rain gets warmer.
How do camels blend in?
With camel-flage
If man’s bet friend is a dog, would a unicorns best friend be a corn dog?
What did the art teacher say to the aspiring actress? You sure look the art.
What is the favorite bread of a crow? Crow-issant.
Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
Never date a Theater person...
... wayyy too much Drama...
What did one pirate say to the other when he beat him in chess.
Check matey!
What does a witch get if she crosses a black cat and a lemon?
A sour puss.
If you understand, say "understand".
If you don't understand, say "don't understand".
But if you understand and say "don't understand".
how do I understand that you understand. Understand!?
What do you get when a dinosaur walks through the strawberry patch? Strawberry jam.
Through three cheese trees, three free fleas flew. While these fleas flew, freezy breeze blew. Freezy breeze made these three trees freeze. Freezy trees made these trees’ cheese freeze. That’s what made these three free fleas sneeze.
What do ghouls say to each other before heading out for Halloween?
May the ghouls be with you!
How does a koala get from one place to another? On a gondkoala.
Who brings presents for crows on Christmas? On Christmas? Santa Caws
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
Fairies just spell trouble.
Why can you never use a serve receive pattern against a sniper? They’d all start running for cover.
Physics puns are no joke. It’s a relatively dark matter.
How do you use an ancient Egyptian doorbell?
Toot-and-come-in.
She was wheeled to the operating room, but then she underwent a change of heart.
Scrambled eggs are similar to a losing basketball team because both are beaten.
Sheep have a clever way of keeping all their four feet warm in the winter; they wear muttons.
What do you call the worlds smallest violin?
Hard to play.
Wife told me to grow a pear.
I did. It tasted delicious.
I'm a supervillain from Italy, I have the power to infect people with deadly diseases.
It’s-a-me, Malario.
A chap goes to see the doctor with salt on one ear and pepper on the other. The doctor says, “You need to start eating more sensibly”.
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
What do you get when you cross a ghoul and a vampire?
A hemogoblin.
I asked what the lion in my wardrobe was doing.
He said it was Narnia business
Did you hear about the croc and rooster that had a kid together?
It was a crocadoodledoo.
Q. Which Louisville race exclusively features buck and stag contestants?
A. The Kentucky Deer-by.
Anybody who can complete tasks atop the surface of their lower kitchen cabinets is...
counter productive.
Why couldn’t the teddy bear finish his donut?
He was stuffed!
Why is it so difficult to sell a toy zebra.
You can never find the barcode.
A group of crows drooling over a pastry is called a-tempted murder.
What happens to witches who break the school rules?
They get ex-spelled.
“My Dog has no nose. How does he smell?”
"Awful.”
I wouldn't say that flying is my favorite way to travel...
But it's up there.
My mum makes the best soups. She is a real soup-erstar.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
What do you call an alien with three eyes?
An aliiien.
“How are you? ” “Well, I yam fried”
Don’t be hay-tin on autumn!
I red a joke about colors once.
It blue my mind.
My dad argued with a stove
The conversation really started to heat up
It is only late August, yet the leaves are already turning brown. Autumn came early this year. Orange you glad?
What do cell phones order at dinner?
Apps.
Go to BabaMail
