Why did the witch stay in a hotel during her travels?
She heard they had great broom service.
What fish perform at the circus?
Clown fish!
Have you heard about the new meat that’s taking the world by storm? It’s a cross between a cow and a chicken. They call it “roost beef”.
Yally Bally had a jolly golliwog. Feeling folly, Yally Bally Bought his jolly golli' a dollie made of holly! The golli', feeling jolly, named the holly dollie, Polly. So Yally Bally's jolly golli's holly dollie Polly's also jolly!
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!
For Halloween I'm going to dress as a donkey with a kilt
I'm going to be an ascot
What’s a nut’s favorite scary movie?
The Creature from the Black Legume.
What kind of horse does a ghost ride? A nightmare.
What do you do with a green ghoul?
Wait until it ripens!
What’s a deer’s go-to ice cream flavor?
Cookie-doe.
What's green and sour and swims in an aquarium?
A tro-pickle fish.
A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
Q. Which Greek eggplant dish do deer really eat up?
A. Moose-aka.
What’s black and white and goes round and round?
A panda stuck in a revolving door.
Why did the zombie lose his lawsuit?
He had no leg to stand on!
What do you call a flying cheese?
A curd of prey.
Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play
What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner? The turKEY
If you are going to sleep, I wish you suite dreams.
Why was the broken refrigerator angry?
Because he couldn’t keep his cool.
You are like my dentures.
I cannot smile without you.
Why don't squirrels wear skinny jeans?
Because their nuts won't fit.
What praise did a bat’s friend deserve? A bat on the back.
What do you call a woman with a frog on her head?
Lily.
You cannot get a basketball game fairly officiated in the jungle because cheetahs are all over.
Why did the Beatles stop inviting Ringo to Thanksgiving?
Because he wouldn't share the drumsticks.
I tried to turn on a tap. It was a bit stiff though...
So I had to faucet.
What do you get when you cross a pig and a tortoise?
A slow-pork.
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
What do you call a Swedish cycling group?
Viking Biking
Why should you not play volleyball in court? Because you could get arrested.
A golfer had a heart attack and died on the way to the hospital.
He was on a fairway to heaven.
What punishment do legs get in the medieval era?
decapita-shin
When does the moon gets his/her stomach full? During full moon.
What do you get when you cross a fawn with a bumblebee?
Bambee.
I went into a pet shop and said: "I would like a pet parrot for my daughter."
Confused, the owner replied: "Sorry, we don't do swaps."
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
Have you ever seen a catfish? No, how did he hold the rod and reel?
The nut gave her boyfriend the kola shoulder for missing their date.
What do you call someone who eats too many eggs?
An egg-oholic.
Why couldn't the boy run away with the farmer's daughter?
They were cantaloupe farmers.
What is a dog’s ideal job?
A barkeologist.
What did Shakespeare say as he was making a cheese plate?
To brie or not to brie.
If there was to be a beauty contest bringing together all the beautiful mushrooms on the face of the earth, the porta-bella mushroom would carry the day.
Why do cheeses make bad musicians?
They’re always sharp.
You are the best, I feel so peachy when I am with you!
Two monkeys get in a bath. The first one say’s “ooh ooh aah ooh aah”
The second one say’s “well put some cold water in it then”
Why are bread puns the greatest? They never grow mold.
I like European food so I decided to Russia over there because I was Hungary. After Czech'ing the menu I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished I told the waiter 'Spain good but there is Norway I could eat another bite'.
What do you call a chicken that crosses the road, rolls in the dirt, crosses the road again, and then rolls in the dirt again?
A dirty double-crossing chicken.
Judging by the sounds, there’s an ogre staying in the hotel room above me.
Hopefully he shreks out tomorrow.
Go to BabaMail
