What do you call a owl dance party that only plays folk music?
A hootenanny.
Where do rocks like to sleep? In bedrocks!
The watermelon thief was charged with robbery with violence, but the judge later changed that to a minor felony; or melony as he put it.
Why did the little British boy become an Ancient Egyptian Historian?
Because he wanted his mummy to be proud him.
Don't worry, bee happy!
People always talk about the 'Eye Of The Tiger'. No one talks about the other four letters.
How was the first giraffe made?
Chuck Norris uppercut a horse.
My friend has a cold storage device that will discuss philosophical issues. It's a deep freezer.
My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp.
I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
We all know that monkeys of all species love bananas, however, there is one family that doesn’t really fancy them, the orang-utans.
What do you do when a pickle wants to play cards?
Dill'em in.
Poor white splash.
Q: What do you call an angry pea?
A: Grum-pea!
Why did the jazz musician refuse to be quarantined?
Cause he was an outdoor cat.
I had this disturbingly long dream that I was making a salad.
I was tossing all night.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
My wife got a straw for her drink...
When she sat down, she took a sip, and frustratedly sighed "My straw has a hole in it!"
I replied "I should hope it has two!"
What do you call a bear that’s stuck out in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
Have you heard about the new band located in the north east of england?
They're called Durham Durham.
The sweater I bought recently kept picking up static-electricity, so I returned it to the store.
They gave me another one, free of charge.
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
Who’s the head of the penguin navy?
Admiral Byrd!
What happens when you look up geology jokes? You know you've hit rock bottom!
Why do dinosaurs eat raw meat? Because they don't know how to cook.
Brother: "I saw a seahorse scuba diving"
Dad: "Wow that's amazing, I didn't realise they had the technology."
Diving into shallow water could lead to jumping to wrong conclusions.
The young loaf of bread ended up getting fired from his job because he kept loafing around. Poor guy.
What do you call a dinosaur that lost his glasses? uthinkhesawrus
I don't know what Dracula's address is, but I'm pretty sure he lives on a dead end street.
There are two skeleton teachers at school. One is humerus, but the other is very sternum.
Why are beavers only found in freshwaters? Because they don't like stale water.
How did the fruit get to Hawaii? The pineapple express.
Why did the skeleton start a fight?
He had a bone to pick.
I took a walk down by the river the other day and I heard two birds speaking Spanish...
Turns out they were Portu-Geese.
I made a snap decision to watch football today
What is a mosquitos worst fear?
The S.W.A.T Team.
What do cherries write in love letters? I miss you cherry-bly.
What kind of celebration pays down the national debt? A tea party.
When the drivers ran out of fuel in the grassland, they refueled their tanks with grass-oline!
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
I went to an English camping party with some vegetables. We stayed in a tea-pea.
I've been trying to sleep with one eye open lately, but it's really hard
Last night I couldn't sleep a wink
Two pebbles washed up on the beach. One says to the other, "Are you married?"
Other replies, "No, I'm shingle."
Why did the coffee bean keep checking his watch? Because he was pressed for time.
Fresh fried fish,
Fish fresh fried,
Fried fish fresh,
Fish fried fresh.
What do you get when you play Tug-of-War with a pig? Pulled-Pork
What happens before it rains candy? It sprinkles.
What is the best type of nut for your home wall decor? A walnut.
My wife said I only eat white tasteless vegetables...
Well, not neciCelery.
Go to BabaMail
