Building a good makeup design always starts with a good foundation.
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions?
I haven’t seen you in light years.
When shouldn't you drink a hot beverage? If it's not your cup of tea.
Why are goats and rhinos attracted to each other?
Because they are both horny animals.
An apple and an orange signed up for a tournament. No one was really surprised when they had both were seeded.
What’s the difference between a teacher and a railway security guard? One trains the mind, the other minds the train.
Why haven't the aliens visited earth yet?
They read the reviews... only one star.
What did the showerhead say to the conditioner?
"Get outta hair!"
What do you call an Incarcerated late night TV show host?
Jimmy Felon.
Which Nordique great has recurring ligament problems? Peter Spaz-knee!
What did one blade of grass say to another about the lack of rain?
I guess we'll just have to make dew.
Why can you never trust an artist? Because they are a bit sketchy, a little shady and will always try to frame you.
Why did the bunny say to the duck? You quack me up!
I bought a bunch of antique spears online, but they arrived without their spear heads.
I got shafted.
I guess I’m going to France
Because I have nothing Toulouse.
Iron Man's favourite Xmas gifts this year were socks that fire from his feet.
He called them missile toes.
They had us working like dogs at work after a storm
All I did was pick up sticks and bark.
You're acute Valentine.
What would be one of the worst crimes to commit if you were a sheep living in the medieval times?
Muttiny
How do flamingos clean themselves? They flaminget a shower.
Big Foot has been spotted throwing tantrums and talking back to his parents.
No wonder they call him the Sassquatch.
What kind of bird always gets stuck in the nest? A velcrow.
What type of stroke does a classical musician use when swimming?
The Bach stroke!
What was the puppy's costume for Halloween?
The Big Bad Woof.
When my teacher asked me if I knew who built the ark in History class, I answered, "I have Noah idea!"
Wife was in the hospital and the nurse said she was calling the doctor to put in an IV
When he showed up, I said to him "I thought there'd be four of you".
"Do you know how long it takes for a bomb to explode?"
No, but dynamite!
What did the light bulb say to the generator? ‘I really get a charge out of you!”
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
Why did the watermelon go crazy?
“He lost his rind.”
Q. Why couldn't the dinosaur play games on the computer?
A. Because he ate the mous
Why will you never meet an ice cream workaholic?
They know how to chill out.
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
The difference between popcorn and pea soup, is that you can pop corn, but you can't pea soup.
Where do mathematicians like to party?
In bar graphs.
What happens when you drink beer from a cup?
You both get drunk.
Where do math teachers normally like to go on summer vacation?
Times Square.
The last ten times I’ve been to a fancy dress party, I’ve gone as a shark.
The joke’s wearing fin.
Why do owls make such bad baseball players?
Their hits are always fowl.
What did the piece of Cheddar say to the ghost? I'm Lac-ghost intolerant
What do you do when your friend is a claustrophobic astronaut?
You give him a little space.
Soviet goaltenders got their hair cut at Vladislav's Tress-shack.
You must be a defibrillator because you are sending shocks directly to my heart.
What do you call the least popular color in the rainbow? The weakest pink.
Why don't quarterbacks share puns at the line of scrimmage? Because they produce audible groans!
Why do skeletons drink so much milk?
It’s good for the bones!
Why did the geologist go on a date to the quarry?
He wanted to be a little boulder.
It takes one to snow one.
What do you call a koala with no teeth? A gummy bear.
All chemists know that alcohol is always a solution
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