What types of plants do you get after you plant kisses? Tulips.
What is a corn's favorite song?
Corn fields forever.
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
You can never get short balls over the net! Solution: Drop shot from arsenal.
What are ice cream cones like as parents?
They’re big softies.
If we cross lobster bisque and Elon Musk, what we have is a soup-er car
What does Bigfoot say when he sees campers in sleeping bags?
- Yum, Hot Pockets!
What does an owl need after having a bath?
A t-owl.
Which music group really embodied the fake it until you make it mantra?
The Pretenders.
What did the grouchy mushroom say to the loud mushroom? - Put a cap on it.
What type of hairstyle is popular with polar bears?
Frosted tips.
The cat’s out of the bag – I love you purry much.
A friend went in to his garden, dug a hole in the grass and filled it with water. I think he meant well.
You have a pizza my heart.
What's the difference between a Roman and an Irish Catholic?
The strength of the communion wine.
King Arthur's Round Table was built by Sir Cumference.
What do you call an and with frogs legs?
An antphibian.
What do you call a cold crocodile in winter? A refrigerator.
How do you keep a dog from smelling?
You hold its nose.
What is the difference between a geologist and a chemist? A chemist will drink anything that is distilled. A geologist will drink anything that is fermented.
Why should you never argue with decimals?
Decimals always have a point.
Where do most horses work for their first job?
Re-tail stores.
I named my phone "The Titanic" because it's always syncing.
What is as big as a steam locomotive, but weighs nothing? Its shadow.
Which car is a Ghost’s favourite? It is between a Boogatti or a Rolls-Royce Phantom.
It's impossible to ruin the view of the Colisseum.
I like your tight end
My wife's been on a banana diet.
She hasn't lost any weight, but you should see her climb trees now!
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
Do you know what the favourite soup of a ghost is? It is the Scream of Broccoli.
Q: How did the tiger perform during the show?
A: He was a roaring success.
How do you know a flmaingo has stolen your shoes?
Only one shoe is missing.
Bus ticket inspectors: You’ve really got to hand it to them.
How long did Cain hate his brother?
As long as he was Abel.
What do you call a famous inmate? A cellebrity.
So, what do you do with an epileptic watermelon? Simple, you make a seizure salad.
What's the weather like in Mexico?
Chili today, hot tamale.
Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?
Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.
Who is Medusa’s cheesy cousin?
Gorgon Zola
I love you from my head tomatoes.
Local glass blower inhaled whilst working. He ended up with a pane in his stomach.
We got the news of a coming flood today. The news was leaked.
Crooked teeth are criminal!
Luckily a few years behind bars usually straightens them out.
Who fixed people's backs in ancient Egypt?
Cairo practers.
No one understands me when i say I like to paint peas in a cage.
I don’t what is so hard about it. I’m a trapped peas artist.
Why did George Washington have sleeping problems? Because he is unable to lie.
Which birds are good at holding things together?
Velcrows.
What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween? Pillowcases.
Why shouldn't you hire a volleyball player to be your bartender?
The service may be excellent, but he'll try to spike all the drinks.
Have you botany plants lately?
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