Funny insults you can use or prepared comebacks for people insulting you

My favorite se* position is called “WOW”
It’s where I flip your MOM over.
Roses are Red
Violets are blue
If I had a brick
I’d throw it at you.
Roses are red
violets are blue.
God made me good lookin'
what happened to you?
Roses are red
violets are blue.
It was one ripped condom
that made you.
Yo Mama so ugly
She goes to the dentist for a colonoscopy.
Are you a clock?
Because you're ticking me off.
Yo mama is so ugly she made my happy meal cry.
Yo moma is so stupid, she tried to surf the microwave
Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
Yo mama so old her birth certificate is in Roman numerals.
Yo mama so old she ran track with dinosaurs.
Yo mama so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
Yo mama so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.
Yo mama so old her birth certificate says expired on it.
Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.
Yo mama so old that when she was in school there was no history class.
Yo mama so old her social security number is 1!
Yo mama so old I told her to act her own age, and she died.
Yo mama so old, When she farted dust came out!
Yo momma's so old her first job was as Cain and Abel' babysitter.
Fly like a butterfly sting like a bee I slept with yo mama now it burns when I pee.
Are you always this stupid or is today a special occasion?
We can always tell when you are lying. Your lips move.
Just because you have one doesn't mean you have to act like one.
As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?
Don't you have a terribly empty feeling - in your skull?
Wipe your mouth, there's still a tiny bit of bulls**t around your lips.
Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.
How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?
Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent!