Funny insults you can use or prepared comebacks for people insulting you

7 billion smiles on this planet...
and yours is the worst.
I'd slap you, but I'm against animal abuse.
Yo Mama so stupid she got locked in Mattress World and slept on the floor.
Fly like a butterfly sting like a bee I slept with yo mama now it burns when I pee.
Yo Mama so short she poses for trophies.
You're so ugly, you scared the crap out of the toilet.
Yo Momma so poor I saw her banging on a trash can and when I asked her what she was doing, she said her kids locked her out.
People clap their hands when they see you.
They clap them over their eyes.
Yo Mama so poor children from Africa send her money.
You're the kind of person who would catch the bouquet at a funeral.
If I had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents.
Yo Mama so stupid she stared at an orange juice carton for 20 minutes, because it said 'Concentrate'.
Don't you need a license to be that ugly?
Your doctor called with your colonoscopy results. Good news – they found your head.
Yo Mama so short she takes a shower in a rain drop.
Sure, I've seen people like you before - but I had to pay an admission.
Yo mama so fat she has a sock for each toe.
If I wanted to kill myself I'd climb your ego and jump to your IQ.
Yo Mama so poor I went through her front door and ended up in the back yard.
Yo Mama so stupid she put a quarter in a parking meter and waited for a gumball to come out.
You are depriving some poor village of its idiot.
Yo mama so old her birth certificate says expired on it.
Yo Momma so poor ducks throw bread at her.
I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
Yo mama so fat that when she farted she started global warming.
Yo mama so fat she goes to KFC and licks other peoples' fingers.
Yo mama so fat she leaves footprints in concrete.
Yo Momma so poor she couldn't afford a condom and gave birth to you.
Yo Momma so stupid, she thought seaweed is something fish smoke.
I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works.