Swim Jokes

Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
Why are fish so smart Because they swim in schools!
There once was a lady from Guam
who said, "Now the sea is so calm,
I shall swim in the dark!"
She encountered a shark.
Let us all sing the Twenty-Third Psalm.
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
Why did the Pilgrims sail to America?
It was too far to swim.
Are you the flags in a 200 back swim? Because I’ve been looking for you forever.
Hey girl, I'd swim across the ocean just to see you smile.
Why do volleyball players love to swim? They like diving in the deep and then floating in the shallow.
Why do baby seals swim in salt water? Cause pepper water makes them sneeze.
An Over Exaggeration Three men were sitting at a veterans bar talking. One was American, One was English and one was African. At some point, the American said: "Did you know that our air force is so big, that when all our planes are out flying. We can't even see the sun!" "That's nothing!" scoffed the Englishman. "Our Navy is so huge, that if we line up all our boats we can walk on a straight line all the way from England to America without getting wet feet. After a short while the African said: "One day when I was taking a piss in the forest, 14 crows landed on my penis... At the same time." That was when they all realized that maybe, just maybe... They all over exaggerated . The American admitted: "Well, maybe we do see the sun shining through...". And Englishman answered: "And we actually have to swim a bit to reach the American shoreline..." And the African said: "And those 14 crows... Well, they were sitting pretty close together."
Why do seals swim in salt water ?
Because pepper water makes them sneeze.
Why do sharks swim in salt water?
If they swam in pepper water they would sneeze.
Why didn't the hipster swim in the river? It was too mainstream.
With a tall friend, you can swim as far as you want in the river for you will be at his hand when in danger.
What do you call a titan that can't swim?
Titanic.
Which One Do You Save? A 65 year old lady suddenly started learning to swim instead of her usual routine of going to bingo. Everyone was curious and asked her: "why the change in your interest?" The lady, with a look of helplessness replied: "Whenever my son and daughter-in-law quarrel with each other my Daughter-in-law always asks my son : - "If your mom and I fall into water, which one would you save first?" So, because I do not want to put my son in a difficult position, I am learning to swim!" A few days later, her son and his wife were quarreling again, and the daughter-in-law unreasonably asked: " now tell me! If your mom and I fall into the water, whom will you save first?" The husband replied: "I don't have to get into the water. My mom knows how to swim, she will save you." The wife refused to relent: "No, you have to jump into the water, and have to save one of us. Which one will it BE?" Her husband replied: "Then I'm sorry to say you'll die anyway because I don't know to swim, and my mom will definitely save me first!"
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