Playing

I was so embarrassed when my wife found me playing with my son’s train set that I threw a blanket over it.
I think I managed to cover my tracks.
When I first started playing chess, I thought the castle could move diagonally.
Classic rook-y mistake.
I like playing chess with old people in the park, but it gets hard to find 32 of them each time.
Why do some trees hate playing checkers? Because they are true chess-nuts.
A quadriplegic man became famous playing beautiful piano classics with only his nose, ears, chin, and forehead.
Before going on stage to perform, his tour manager would say, "Alright John. It's time to face the music."
Did you hear about the boy that went missing in the hospital?
Turns out he was just playing peek-a-boo ICU
The only gift I got for my birthday was a deck of sticky playing cards.
I’m having a hard time dealing with it.
The only gift I got for my birthday was a deck of sticky playing cards.
I’m having a hard time dealing with it.
Why did the chicken cross the road? It was playing crossy road.
What did the little goats say when they were caught playing a prank on the sheep?
Sorry, we were just kidding.
You shouldn't wear glasses when playing football...
They say it's a contact sport.
I was playing chess with my son and he said, "Let’s make this interesting!"
So we stopped playing chess.
It’s my wife’s birthday tomorrow. Last week I asked her what she wanted as a present.

“Oh, I don’t know”, she said. “Just give me something with diamonds”.

That’s why I’m giving her a pack of playing cards.
A man and his wife are playing Dungeons and Dragons together...
During the man's turn, he rolls his D20 and rolls a 1. Simultaneously, he stubs his toe against the table leg so hard that his toe essentially falls off. Blood everywhere. The wife has to rush them both to the ER.

She's waiting.

She's waiting...

The doctor emerges, and the wife rushes over. "How is my husband? What's his condition?"

The doctor replies: "Critical, miss."
Parenting is like playing chess.
I don't know how to play chess.