Playing Jokes

What did the kid nut say to the other when playing tag? “I’m going to cashew”.
Which nut is the best at playing tag?
Catch-yous aka cashews.
My wife got mad at me for playing catch with my son in the backyard
... I didn’t see the big deal until I dropped him.
What game do fawns like playing at sleepovers?
A team of mushrooms was playing basketball against a team of cabbages. The mushrooms won. Everyone cheered for the champignons.
I was at a bar and heard a band playing a Queen cover. I asked them what the name of their band was. They are called the Champignons my friend.
Shaun was playing beach soccer when a couple of tourists made fun of his tall height. I replied, "Can you repeat that again? I couldn't see you behind this tiny grain of sand".
"Men do not quit playing because they grow old—they grow old because they quit playing." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
Did you hear that? They're playing our future song on the speakers!
You're such a treat that I thought my eyes were playing tricks on me.
Two flies are playing football on a saucer.
They’re practicing for the cup.
Why was the pig given a red card at the football game?
For playing dirty.
One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music.
Think it’s the Chopin board.
"Show me a man who is a good loser and I’ll show you a man who is playing golf with his boss."
~ Jim Murray
“You dropped your kid off a changing table? Stuff just happens, okay? Last week, my kid ate a cigarette. I caught him playing in the dryer yesterday. I picked up the wrong baby from daycare. I found my baby swimming in the toilet. No judging.”

- 'What To Expect When You Are Expecting'.
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