My daughter wants a horse...
But first we need a stable income.
My father was born as a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them at birth.
So I have an uncle, once removed.
Amal and Juan are identical twins. Their mom only carries one baby photo in her wallet.
Because if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal.
My sister bet me that I couldn’t make a car out of spaghetti...
You should have seen her face as I drove Pasta.
What do you call a baker whose parents are siblings?
Inbred.
Don’t let your grandparents have daughters.
That’s how you get aunts.
I often tell my niece to listen, because hearing is the first thing you lose with aging.
Or was it memory? I can't remember.
Aunt: Aw, look at you. You've got your father's eyes
Dad: Son, where's my glass eye?
I was painting my room with my brother...
When I realised. He's not a very good brush.
I won't let my daughter near ducks...
Due to their fowl language
What do time and space have in common with family?
It's all relative.
What do bakers tell their children at night?
Breadtime stories.
For years, my brother wanted to be an archeologist...
But ten years in, his career lies in ruins.
Repetition is the Mother of learning.
So who's the father?
Daddycation.
Once a year, I take my family on a tour of various nuclear facilities.
While my kids like it, my wife says it’s just a power trip.
There once was a family, the Bigger’s.
There was Mr. Bigger, Mrs. Bigger, and a son, baby Bigger. Which one was the largest?
The son, because he was a little Bigger.
My sister asked me to stop singing “Wonderwall”
I said maybe.
What do you call a small mother in the UK?
Minimum.
What did Mr. and Mrs. Citrus name their daughter?
Carolime
I ordered won ton for my large family today.
2000 lbs of soup goes a long way.
I will never have the audacity to choose a career path for my children.
It's their responsibility to choose which Medical School they'll graduate from.
What did the baby corn say to the mother corn?
Where's popcorn?
Go to BabaMail
