I went into the kitchen and found that someone replaced all the cutting utensils with spoons
That wasn't knife.
I bought a complete set of kitchen utensils off an infomercial. I was frustrated that there was nothing to mix my eggs...
...but to be fair, they did say it was whisk-free offer.
Why were the utensils stuck together?
They were spooning.
I’ve been experimenting with attaching various kitchen utensils to my power drill
I got mixed results.
Got a puncture in my tyre the other day. Think it was at the fork in the road.
I forgot my fork so tried to eat my lunch with just a spoon. It was pointless.
What did the plate say to the fork? Lunch is on me.
Asked my friend why a knife is his favourite utensil.
He said “a spoon and a fork just don’t cut it”.
A kitchen knife and fork had a race. Who won? Neither, it ended in a drawer.
One of my kitchen utensils seems to be playing classical music.
Think it’s the Chopin board.
Took my giant spoon to my cooking class last night. It caused quite a stir.
What do Santa’s elves cook with in the kitchen?
A u-tinsel.
A piece of cheese sees his cheese friend looking a little disheveled. “Are you OK?” he asks.
“I’ve felt grater”, his friend coughed.
I watched an eclipse through my colander, now I’ve strained my eyes.
When I was a student, I was worried that my housemates would be annoyed if I ran off with some of their kitchen utemsils. But that was a whisk I was willing to take.
I downloaded a colander app instead of a calendar and now my battery keeps draining.
My friend has an excellent nose for wine...
It's shaped like a corkscrew!
How did the cutlery greet the steak?
Knife to meat you!
I found a cutlery dispenser that doesn’t work properly
No forks were given.
Why can't we make jokes about the cutlery incident?
It's too spoon.
How do Chinese people make cutlery?
They chopsticks.
I was on the road yesterday with my metal detector looking for some cutlery....
I found plenty of spoons and knives but I didn't stop, until I hit a fork in the road.
Someone stole my cutlery set, but we were unable to identify the thief
It was stainless steel.
What did the cutlery maker say when he lost some metal?
Silverware?!
I used to work at a cutlery store, but I quit
No more Mr. Knife guy.
Did you know cutlery scams require the most patience?
You've got to play the long prong.
Where do you bury dead cutlery?
In it's final resting plates.