Did you hear about the 2 Tow Truck drivers who wanted to elope?
They got hitched.
What did the bus say to the frog? Hop on.
I have a buddy who was recently hit by a bus, while promoting pedestrian safety.The surgeons had to replace all the joints in his left leg with metal.
I think it's safe to say he can appreciate the iron knee
Why can't buses make friends? Because they only pick up strangers!
Today was a terrible day. First my ex got hit by a bus.
Then I lost my job as a driver.
I got fired from my job as a submarine pilot.
I just don't get it. My performance reviews always said my work was sub-standard.
What is a con artist's truck towed with?
A pickup line
Have I given you the tour of my estate yet?
It is a Vauxhall.
Which films is the car’s favourite?
WiperBlade 1, 2 and Trinity.
I tried to make a wooden submarine.
It didn't go down so well.
Why did the bus driver stay out all night? He was 'driving' around town!
The doctor told me I probably won’t be able to walk again after getting into an accident with a newspaper delivery truck.
I was crushed by the news.
I was midway between the bow and the stern of my 120 foot yacht when suddenly I was surrounded by submarines that just surfaced...
I was amidship man.
What do you call a dog in a submarine?
A subwoofer.
What is a car’s favourite film?
Taxi.
Why was the bus driver so confused? He was 'bus-t' in traffic!
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?
It goes very deep
Why was the bus musician so excited? He just got a 'ride-ing' ovation!
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
Ice cream trucks are pretty hardy, but they will break down if they drive over the rocky road.
There’s a new movie out called “The Truck.” I’ve seen the trailer, it looks great.
What do you call a big queue of trucks, making cheesy one-liners? A pick-up line.
If a police officer pulls a U-Haul truck over...
did he just bust a move?
Have you heard about Amazon’s plan to make intercontinental shipments using electric submarine drones?
They’re projecting a large increase in e-fish-in-sea.
It used to be free to fill up your car tires with air, now it costs $1.25. You know why?
Inflation.
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
As I put the car in reverse, I thought to myself:
"This really takes me back".
Why don’t cars enjoy long drives?
They find them a drag.
A man is wanted for stealing tires off of cop cars.
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,
it doesn't Go Straight.
Who should drive home out of the two friends?
The one who is not tired.
I have a question for people who take the bus...
Are you supposed to give it back?
I’ve always been a trucker, but recently I applied for a job at Microsoft. I’ve heard they’re always looking for more drivers.
What do you call a guy who only rides children's bicycles?
A pedalphile
Why did the girl break up with the boy?
He was driving her crazy!
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
How do you spot a car made by Apple?
It does not have Windows.
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
Why did the bus driver take a long break? He needed a wheel-y good rest!
I’m trying to teach my son how to put the chain back on his bike but he still can’t seem to do it.
I guess it must be sprocket science.
While I was riding my bike, there was a big tropical storm. I decided to cyclone.
How do eels travel across the seafloor? By Octo-bus.
Car puns are really tiring
Why did the submarine driver lose his job
Old, racist tweets resurfaced
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was too tired..
What is the car dealership in Star Wars called?
The Mazda-lorian
There was this bald guy at the bus
He seemed really lightheaded
My bike chain got rusted. Then my whole bicycle broke down. It was a chain reaction.
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus