We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
What do you call a murder where the perp runs away on a bicycle?
A drive bike shooting
Why did the bus driver laugh? He was having a 'wheely' good time!
Why is it so expensive to run a submarine?
It's the depth charges.
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
What is a car’s preferred TV program?
The Driving Dead.
What do you call a square that got into a car accident?
A rect-angle
I heard someone complain about the bus being too crowded, it was a 'bus-load' of people!
Why did the bus driver take a break? He needed to 'stop' and refuel!
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
Did you know there were cars in America before Christopher Columbus arrived?
The Cherokees.
Two trucks – one carrying strawberries and one carrying sugar – crashed. Drivers didn’t stop, and now the jam is getting thicker.
My Dad drove a truck for 32 years.
He was terrible with directions.
Did you hear about the submarine industry?
It really took a dive...
A silent man walked into a bicycle shop...
He picked up a wheel and spoke.
My bike chain got rusted. Then my whole bicycle broke down. It was a chain reaction.
Truck drivers have a great way of settling disputes – they only use their horns. It’s known as a fight to the deaf.
I tried driving a truck with a trailer that was attached without using the proper equipment.
It went off without a hitch.
I avoid bike trails after dark. They are full of cycle paths.
Read a story about two people who stole cars driving into each other.
Must have been Bonnie and Collide
I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn’t find a manual.
What is a car’s favourite sport?
Soc-car.
Why don’t cars enjoy long drives?
They find them a drag.
There’s only one thing in the truck world that is bigger than a tow truck, and that’s a foot truck.
Driving a truck carrying cutlery is easy – as soon as you see the fork in the road, you know you’re there.
What do cars have on toast.
Butter and traffic jam.
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
whoops wrong sub
How did cars walk on to Noah’s Ark?
4X4.
Why should you be cautious of a Finnish submarine captain?
He’ll sink ye.
I have to pay for a bus ticket?
I guess it's only fare
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
Why did the bus driver stay out all night? He was 'driving' around town!
How do you spot a car made by Apple?
It does not have Windows.
Why did the bus driver eat a burger? He wanted to 'bus-t' his energy!
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
Electric cars can't get exhausted...
...but they can get wheely tired.
A man is wanted for stealing tires off of cop cars.
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
Bro, are you a submarine?
Because you're so gnar.
I was selling my bike and an interested buyer asked what’s lowest I’d go.
"About 3 mph," I said, "otherwise I’d tip over."
I heard that a truck carrying Scrabble tiles has just overturned… Well, that’s the word on the street, anyway.
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
did you hear the one about the sheep in car wreck?
it was baaad.
The bus driver was so friendly and nice, it was a 'joy ride'!
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
What do you call it when a truck of tortoises crashes into an aquarium?
A turtle disaster.
Did you hear about the 2 Tow Truck drivers who wanted to elope?
They got hitched.
Why did the submarine driver lose his job
Old, racist tweets resurfaced
What do they play at the beginning of a car movie?
The trailer.
Passenger: One ticket to New York, please.
Bus Driver: By way of Buffalo?
Passenger: No, by bus!
Why did the tricycle not hang out with the bicycles?
It felt like a third wheel
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