49. What does a child car play with?
Toy-otas.
What do you call a big queue of trucks, making cheesy one-liners? A pick-up line.
If a police officer pulls a U-Haul truck over...
did he just bust a move?
What do you call a thriller movie involving cars?
Suspension movie.
I got fired from my job as a submarine pilot.
I just don't get it. My performance reviews always said my work was sub-standard.
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
What is a car’s favourite element?
Carbon.
What has four wheels and flies?
A garbage truck!
Two trucks – one carrying strawberries and one carrying sugar – crashed. Drivers didn’t stop, and now the jam is getting thicker.
I hopped on the bus yesterday afternoon. After a few minutes, the driver asked me to sit down like everyone else
Is the city bus running on time? No, it’s running on diesel.
What did the bus say to the frog? Hop on.
I’ve always been a trucker, but recently I applied for a job at Microsoft. I’ve heard they’re always looking for more drivers.
Car puns are really tiring
What did the teacher say when he could not get into his car?
‘Oh no, I have lost my Kias!’
Did you hear about the submarine industry?
It really took a dive...
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?
It caused a title wave!
Have you heard about the guys who stole a truck full of broccoli and cauliflower? They had to really floret to get away.
I tried driving a truck with a trailer that was attached without using the proper equipment.
It went off without a hitch.
I was selling my bike and an interested buyer asked what’s lowest I’d go.
"About 3 mph," I said, "otherwise I’d tip over."
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.
I always like to keep a jar of peanut butter in the car when I travel on a busy freeway ...
just in case there’s a traffic jam.
Why did the bus driver quit his job? It was driving him mad.
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
Electric cars can't get exhausted...
...but they can get wheely tired.
A truck carrying Lego got into an accident on the motorway. No one knows what happened; the authorities are still trying to piece everything together.
I told my boyfriend I'd missed the bus.
He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.
Honda is oldest car make in the world. It was mentioned in the bible!
"And the apostles were all in Accord"
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
What made the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.
Why did the submarines feelings get hurt?
Because they keep calling it a dipship
Have you heard about Amazon’s plan to make intercontinental shipments using electric submarine drones?
They’re projecting a large increase in e-fish-in-sea.
I rode my bike so much, I had to put a new set of wheels on it. I was about to put a third set on it, but the old bike didn’t work anymore. which is understandable. The bike was already retired.
What do you call a perfect submarine?
Sub-optimal.
A silent man walked into a bicycle shop...
He picked up a wheel and spoke.
I was gonna make some car puns...
but I ran out of gas.
Why couldn’t the submarine commander get to the surface after joining Reddit?
He couldn’t get any up-boats
55. How do you tell a car you are supporting it?
‘We are routing for you!’
I have to pay for a bus ticket?
I guess it's only fare
What is a car’s favourite fashion accessory?
A clutch bag.
In this day and age of technological breakthroughs, we surely can’t be far from a country song where a guy’s self-driving truck leaves him too.
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
How does a flower propel a bicycle?
It petals!
A truck full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
What the motto of a Boy Scout who got a badge for fixing a bicycle horn?
Beep Repaired!
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
whoops wrong sub
I joined the French Submarine Corps to learn how to deal with the loss of a loved one.
They taught me periscoping techniques.
My Dad drove a truck for 32 years.
He was terrible with directions.
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