A silent man walked into a bicycle shop...
He picked up a wheel and spoke.
Why did the bus driver eat a burger? He wanted to 'bus-t' his energy!
What did the car call his new band?
Back Seat Boys.
Why did the larger car go first?
It had the right of weigh.
What is the preferred shampoo brand of truck drivers?
Lorry-el
51. What does a car yell when something goes wrong?
‘Jesus Chrysler!’
How to cars convince you?
By telling you that ‘you Audi-believe it.’
What is a car’s favourite band?
Van Halen.
How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?
It goes very deep
What is the car dealership in Star Wars called?
The Mazda-lorian
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
What do you call a row of 5 tow trucks?
A foot.
Why was the bus musician so excited? He just got a 'ride-ing' ovation!
What do cars have on toast.
Butter and traffic jam.
Who should drive home out of the two friends?
The one who is not tired.
How do you know a car is a good price?
If it is a Ford-able.
What do French cars wear as hats?
Bonnets.
A slat spreading truck knocked me off my bike last year. I yelled “You idiot!” through gritted teeth.
What do you call a bus full of smart people?
A Scholarship
We get fed up of long car journeys...
...meanwhile, truck drivers get fed ex.
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.
What do you call it when a truck of tortoises crashes into an aquarium?
A turtle disaster.
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
I got arrested because I left my car at the bar and took the bus home.
It turned out I was in no condition to drive that either.
Why couldn’t the submarine commander get to the surface after joining Reddit?
He couldn’t get any up-boats
A car company tried to make a submarine, but it kept surfacing too quickley
The crew got the Mercedes-Bends
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
What is a car’s preferred TV program?
The Driving Dead.
I tried driving a truck with a trailer that was attached without using the proper equipment.
It went off without a hitch.
Officer: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck.”
Me: ”Yeah I know, but she’s got a great personality though!”
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
Tesla just announced they’ll be including a bottle of their new cologne now with every car sold
It’s called Elon’s Musk
What superhero takes public transportation to get around? Bus Lightyear.
What did the bus say to the frog? Hop on.
As I put the car in reverse, I thought to myself:
"This really takes me back".
What is a car’s favourite job?
Caretaker.
I heard they’re remaking one of the Lord of the Rings movies, but everyone rides around on bicycles instead of horses.
They’re calling it The Two Tires
What do you call a thriller movie involving cars?
Suspension movie.
Why is their ship called 3.14?
Because they are π-rates.
Bus ticket inspectors: You’ve really got to hand it to them.
Ship Captain: Guys, I need help. I don’t remember how to write 2 in Roman numerals.
Crew: I I Captain.
I was gonna make some car puns...
but I ran out of gas.
Ice cream trucks are pretty hardy, but they will break down if they drive over the rocky road.
I hit a crow in my truck one day, and it flew into the next lane and landed on a police car. I was ticketed for flipping the officer the bird.
I rode my bike so much, I had to put a new set of wheels on it. I was about to put a third set on it, but the old bike didn’t work anymore. which is understandable. The bike was already retired.
How does a flower propel a bicycle?
It petals!
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.
Unbelievably there was yet another truck crash, this time it was carrying Vicks VapoRub. There was no congestion for the rest of the day.
Passenger: One ticket to New York, please.
Bus Driver: By way of Buffalo?
Passenger: No, by bus!
How do you sink a submarine full of fools?
You knock on the door.
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