I heard that a truck carrying Scrabble tiles has just overturned… Well, that’s the word on the street, anyway.
I banged my bike against the wall today. it was wheelie unfortunate.
What do you call a square that got into a car accident?
A rect-angle
What do cars play at the weekend?
Golf.
I tried driving a truck with a trailer that was attached without using the proper equipment.
It went off without a hitch.
Why did the girl break up with the boy?
He was driving her crazy!
While I was riding my bike, there was a big tropical storm. I decided to cyclone.
What should you wear before driving?
The correct gear.
Why should you be cautious of a Finnish submarine captain?
He’ll sink ye.
Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.
Have you heard about Amazon’s plan to make intercontinental shipments using electric submarine drones?
They’re projecting a large increase in e-fish-in-sea.
What do you call a big queue of trucks, making cheesy one-liners? A pick-up line.
What title did the car have in the Navy?
Rear window Admiral.
Officer: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like your wife has been hit by a truck.”
Me: ”Yeah I know, but she’s got a great personality though!”
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
Today was a terrible day. First my ex got hit by a bus.
Then I lost my job as a driver.
What is a car’s preferred TV program?
The Driving Dead.
Why did the bus driver go to jail? He was 'wheely' breaking the law!
What do the Scottish cars wear as hats?
Flat-caps.
Electric cars can't get exhausted...
...but they can get wheely tired.
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
whoops wrong sub
What do they play at the beginning of a car movie?
The trailer.
Why do you only drive automatics?
‘I could never find a manual.’
What is the car dealership in Star Wars called?
The Mazda-lorian
What did the car call his new band?
Back Seat Boys.
Why did the bus driver stay out all night? He was 'driving' around town!
What superhero takes public transportation to get around? Bus Lightyear.
A slat spreading truck knocked me off my bike last year. I yelled “You idiot!” through gritted teeth.
I hopped on the bus yesterday afternoon. After a few minutes, the driver asked me to sit down like everyone else
How to cars convince you?
By telling you that ‘you Audi-believe it.’
There was this bald guy at the bus
He seemed really lightheaded
Which films is the car’s favourite?
WiperBlade 1, 2 and Trinity.
How can you tell if a car is from Switzerland?
It remains in neutral.
Why did the submarines feelings get hurt?
Because they keep calling it a dipship
What do you call it when a truck of tortoises crashes into an aquarium?
A turtle disaster.
If you ride your bike twice a day, is that recycling?
What is a car’s favourite movie character?
Aerial from The Little Mermaid.
What is a car’s favourite colour?
Racing car green.
Which car do sheep drive?
Su-baa-ru.
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
Every morning when I leave home, a bike comes from somewhere and runs me over. It’s a vicious cycle.
Tesla just announced they’ll be including a bottle of their new cologne now with every car sold
It’s called Elon’s Musk
What is a car’s favourite sport?
Soc-car.
My race time today was much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
What did the girl say before making a big decision?
‘Do not pressure me.’
Passenger: One ticket to New York, please.
Bus Driver: By way of Buffalo?
Passenger: No, by bus!
Honda is oldest car make in the world. It was mentioned in the bible!
"And the apostles were all in Accord"
I heard they’re remaking one of the Lord of the Rings movies, but everyone rides around on bicycles instead of horses.
They’re calling it The Two Tires
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