How is the submarine doing at school?
It's below c-level
Have I given you the tour of my estate yet?
It is a Vauxhall.
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?
It caused a title wave!
Car puns are really tiring
A truck full of christmas trees have been stolen.
Police admit they are stumped.
What do the Scottish cars wear as hats?
Flat-caps.
What is a car’s favourite film?
Taxi.
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
I'd steer clear of dating a dyslexic bus driver.
Sure, they may take you places, but there'll be mixed signals along the way.
What is a car’s favourite movie character?
Aerial from The Little Mermaid.
I got arrested because I left my car at the bar and took the bus home.
It turned out I was in no condition to drive that either.
A car company tried to make a submarine, but it kept surfacing too quickley
The crew got the Mercedes-Bends
What should you do if a car is annoying you.
Give the car a head rest.
How to spot the best mechanic?
The brightest bulb.
My brother has been riding a bicycle since he was 4 years old
Damn he must be very far away by now
Driving behind an ambulance, I watched a box fall off the back. I checked inside and there was a foot in it, so I decided to call a toe truck.
I have to pay for a bus ticket?
I guess it's only fare
I knew a submarine sailor who wasn't very talkative or energetic
He was a subdued sub dude.
Who should drive home out of the two friends?
The one who is not tired.
How does a car tell you to get out?
‘Get out, or I shall give you the boot.’
Why are cars so cheeky?
Because they are fuel of it.
What happens when a frogs car breaks down?
It has to be toad away.
Unbelievably there was yet another truck crash, this time it was carrying Vicks VapoRub. There was no congestion for the rest of the day.
What do you call a big queue of trucks, making cheesy one-liners? A pick-up line.
I was driving along the motorway one day when a truck in front of me shed its load of cabbage. Never slaw that coming.
I heard that a truck carrying Scrabble tiles has just overturned… Well, that’s the word on the street, anyway.
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus
Why did the bus driver take a long break? He needed a wheel-y good rest!
I told my boyfriend I'd missed the bus.
He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.
I banged my bike against the wall today. it was wheelie unfortunate.
Why couldn’t the submarine commander get to the surface after joining Reddit?
He couldn’t get any up-boats
I was midway between the bow and the stern of my 120 foot yacht when suddenly I was surrounded by submarines that just surfaced...
I was amidship man.
What do you call a dog in a submarine?
A subwoofer.
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire
What color are military submarines?
Deep navy
Which Hollywood actor can tell his car's odometer reading without looking at it?
Miles Teller
Do you know why the U.S. Navy always keeps at least two canaries on board each of their submarines?
Because everyone knows that if you have a big sub you also need a good set of tweeters.
Electric cars can't get exhausted...
...but they can get wheely tired.
Tesla just announced they’ll be including a bottle of their new cologne now with every car sold
It’s called Elon’s Musk
There was this bald guy at the bus
He seemed really lightheaded
I got fired from my job as a submarine pilot.
I just don't get it. My performance reviews always said my work was sub-standard.
What is a con artist's truck towed with?
A pickup line
If a police officer pulls a U-Haul truck over...
did he just bust a move?
Why did the bicycle fall over?
Because it was 2-tired.
Which films is the car’s favourite?
WiperBlade 1, 2 and Trinity.
I heard someone complain about the bus being too crowded, it was a 'bus-load' of people!
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
What is a car’s preferred TV program?
The Driving Dead.
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