We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
What do you call a thriller movie involving cars?
Suspension movie.
Why didn't the bicycle want to go anywhere?
It was two tired.
I saw a sign on the bus the other day.
It said "please give this seat to the elderly."
So I ripped it out and took it home for my grandad
Why did the bus driver take a long break? He needed a wheel-y good rest!
How do you impregnate a submarine?
Fill it with seamen.
Bus ticket inspectors: You’ve really got to hand it to them.
I heard someone complain about the bus being too crowded, it was a 'bus-load' of people!
What did the bus say to the frog? Hop on.
I was midway between the bow and the stern of my 120 foot yacht when suddenly I was surrounded by submarines that just surfaced...
I was amidship man.
What do you call a dog in a submarine?
A subwoofer.
The navy is now taking dogs along on their submarines
They're subwoofers
What did the car call his new band?
Back Seat Boys.
I’m trying to teach my son how to put the chain back on his bike but he still can’t seem to do it.
I guess it must be sprocket science.
As I put the car in reverse, I thought to myself:
"This really takes me back".
If a police officer pulls a U-Haul truck over...
did he just bust a move?
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
What do you get when you cross a Tambourine with a Submarine?
The Salvation Navy
Mum said I would never be able to make a bicycle out of spaghetti
Well I did, and you should’ve seen her face when I rode pasta
What is a car’s favourite movie character?
Aerial from The Little Mermaid.
I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn’t find a manual.
My Dad drove a truck for 32 years.
He was terrible with directions.
I got fired from my job as a submarine pilot.
I just don't get it. My performance reviews always said my work was sub-standard.
Anyone who is born in a car and dies outside is known as car born die oxide.
What made the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.
What do the Scottish cars wear as hats?
Flat-caps.
How do you sink a submarine full of fools?
You knock on the door.
How did cars protect themselves during the medieval age?
They would dig an M.O.T. around them.
How to tell a car it has gained weight?
‘You have got Fiat.’
What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
Read a story about two people who stole cars driving into each other.
Must have been Bonnie and Collide
My brother has been riding a bicycle since he was 4 years old
Damn he must be very far away by now
What happens when you run in front of a bus?
You get tired.
What happens when you run behind a bus?
You get exhausted.
What are police cars made of?
Copper
What do cars have on toast.
Butter and traffic jam.
A silent man walked into a bicycle shop...
He picked up a wheel and spoke.
What is the collective noun for cars?
Pack of cars.
Why did the bus driver laugh? He was having a 'wheely' good time!
What do you call a perfect submarine?
Sub-optimal.
What should you wear before driving?
The correct gear.
There’s a new movie out called “The Truck.” I’ve seen the trailer, it looks great.
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
Did you hear about the 2 Tow Truck drivers who wanted to elope?
They got hitched.
How do you spot a car made by Apple?
It does not have Windows.
My trucker friend was super excited about his new house. I asked him why, and he told me it had a really long haul way.
Milk trucks always drive so fast, don’t they? You blink and they’re already pasteurize.
Why couldn’t the submarine commander get to the surface after joining Reddit?
He couldn’t get any up-boats
What superhero takes public transportation to get around? Bus Lightyear.
What do French cars wear as hats?
Bonnets.
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.
I told my boyfriend I'd missed the bus.
He asked me what I was trying to hit it with.
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