I avoid bike trails after dark. They are full of cycle paths.
How does a flower propel a bicycle?
It petals!
How to cars convince you?
By telling you that ‘you Audi-believe it.’
It's pretty obvious, that if you run in front of a moving car, you will get tired. But if you run behind it..
..do you just get exhausted ?
Have you heard about the guy who stole a truck carrying supplies of disinfectant? Police say he made a clean getaway.
I have to pay for a bus ticket?
I guess it's only fare
There are more planes under the oceans than there are submarines up in the skies. Let that sink in...
Why did the bus driver take a long break? He needed a wheel-y good rest!
I hit a crow in my truck one day, and it flew into the next lane and landed on a police car. I was ticketed for flipping the officer the bird.
A car carrying bank robbers and a truck carrying cement collided yesterday. Police are now searching for hardened criminals.
51. What does a car yell when something goes wrong?
‘Jesus Chrysler!’
What did the Wife say to the Husband?
You are exhausting!
My partner has been having nightmares that he’s a truck. He always wakes up tyred and exhaust-ed.
Why are cars so cheeky?
Because they are fuel of it.
I saw a documentary today about a submarine that recycles 87% of its garbage.
But I believe this sub's doing even better!
Every morning when I leave home, a bike comes from somewhere and runs me over. It’s a vicious cycle.
What is a car’s favourite film?
Taxi.
A police officer knocked on my door and told me that my dogs were chasing people on bicycles what rubbish my dog doesn’t even own a bike.
What superhero takes public transportation to get around? Bus Lightyear.
What are police cars made of?
Copper
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
Did you know there were cars in America before Christopher Columbus arrived?
The Cherokees.
There’s only one thing in the truck world that is bigger than a tow truck, and that’s a foot truck.
Have you heard about the guys who stole a truck full of broccoli and cauliflower? They had to really floret to get away.
What should you wear before driving?
The correct gear.
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
Driving a truck carrying cutlery is easy – as soon as you see the fork in the road, you know you’re there.
What is a car’s favourite element?
Carbon.
I knew a submarine sailor who wasn't very talkative or energetic
He was a subdued sub dude.
How do you spot a car made by Apple?
It does not have Windows.
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
Which car does the Mensa student drive?
A Smart car.
The local motorway has become blocked after a truck shed it's load of brightly coloured writing paper and envelopes.
Police say the traffic is pretty stationery...
What do you call a bus full of smart people?
A Scholarship
What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
What is a car’s favourite sport?
Soc-car.
Bus ticket inspectors: You’ve really got to hand it to them.
What do French cars wear as hats?
Bonnets.
What do all French cars come with as standard?
A spare wheel of cheese.
Baby dump trucks have the cutest name – they’re called dumplings.
How to tell a car it has gained weight?
‘You have got Fiat.’
What title did the car have in the Navy?
Rear window Admiral.
It’s never great taking a truck driver to the cinema to watch a film. They only really like the trailers.
I always like to keep a jar of peanut butter in the car when I travel on a busy freeway ...
just in case there’s a traffic jam.
What color are military submarines?
Deep navy
What do you call a drunk person fumbling with their car keys?
A taxi
Read a story about two people who stole cars driving into each other.
Must have been Bonnie and Collide
I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
Why did the bus driver laugh? He was having a 'wheely' good time!
What are the benefits of city buses using green fuel? They’ll always be on thyme.
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