A slat spreading truck knocked me off my bike last year. I yelled “You idiot!” through gritted teeth.
A man is wanted for stealing tires off of cop cars.
Police are working tirelessly to catch him.
Passenger: One ticket to New York, please.
Bus Driver: By way of Buffalo?
Passenger: No, by bus!
51. What does a car yell when something goes wrong?
‘Jesus Chrysler!’
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
Did you hear about the 2 Tow Truck drivers who wanted to elope?
They got hitched.
Which car do sheep drive?
Su-baa-ru.
There’s only one thing in the truck world that is bigger than a tow truck, and that’s a foot truck.
I have a question for people who take the bus...
Are you supposed to give it back?
What do they play at the beginning of a car movie?
The trailer.
What happens when a frogs car breaks down?
It has to be toad away.
The librarian's office was on the A level. I asked for a book about submarines.
She told me to look below C level.
Why is their ship called 3.14?
Because they are π-rates.
What title did the car have in the Navy?
Rear window Admiral.
I'm gonna quit my job on a submarine
I'm under a lot of pressure
My Dad drove a truck for 32 years.
He was terrible with directions.
How does a flower propel a bicycle?
It petals!
What’s the difference between a school bus driver and a winter cold? One knows all the stops, and the other stops the nose.
How to tell a car it has gained weight?
‘You have got Fiat.’
Why did the bus driver take a break? He needed to 'stop' and refuel!
What is a car’s favourite bug?
A beetle.
I saw a lady riding a camel and being pulled by a truck...
It was a camel tow
What should you double check when buying an electric car?
That your driving license is current.
I had a nasty crash with a truck carrying construction equipment the other day. It really hit me like a ton of bricks.
Authorities have been trying to figure out how the Worcestershire sauce truck spilled...
But it's hard to say...
We all have a submarine in our heads but we're not supposed to think about it. It's all sub-conscious.
A truck carrying ladders crashed on the road. The cargo has spilled over, but police are taking steps to clear the area.
Do you know why the U.S. Navy always keeps at least two canaries on board each of their submarines?
Because everyone knows that if you have a big sub you also need a good set of tweeters.
Bro, are you a submarine?
Because you're so gnar.
My race time today was much better than yesterday. I was in a whole different gear.
Why did the larger car go first?
It had the right of weigh.
While I was riding my bike, there was a big tropical storm. I decided to cyclone.
Truck drivers have a great way of settling disputes – they only use their horns. It’s known as a fight to the deaf.
Unbelievably there was yet another truck crash, this time it was carrying Vicks VapoRub. There was no congestion for the rest of the day.
What superhero takes public transportation to get around? Bus Lightyear.
Who should drive home out of the two friends?
The one who is not tired.
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a tricycle and a well dressed man on a bicycle?
Attire
I hit a crow in my truck one day, and it flew into the next lane and landed on a police car. I was ticketed for flipping the officer the bird.
How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?
It goes very deep
Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,
it doesn't Go Straight.
Why should you be cautious of a Finnish submarine captain?
He’ll sink ye.
What made the truck driver finally stop farting?
He ran out of gas.
Why are cars so cheeky?
Because they are fuel of it.
I have to pay for a bus ticket?
I guess it's only fare
How does a car tell you to get out?
‘Get out, or I shall give you the boot.’
I did a good deed today by giving up my seat on the bus to an elderly lady...
How was I supposed to know she’d never driven a bus before?
I always like to keep a jar of peanut butter in the car when I travel on a busy freeway ...
just in case there’s a traffic jam.
Have you heard about the guys who stole a truck full of broccoli and cauliflower? They had to really floret to get away.
BREAKING NEWS: Vietnam accidentally sank its own submarine killing all 350 on board
Whoops, wrong sub.
My brother has been riding a bicycle since he was 4 years old
Damn he must be very far away by now
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