People keep getting me clocks for my birthday.
Time and time again.
My wife isn't talking to me because apparently I ruined her birthday....
I don't know how I did that... I didn't even know it was her birthday!
Yo momma so fat...
She can't even fit into her Birthday Suit.
I handed my dad a calculator for his birthday. with a dissapointed scowl on his face, he asked me: "Wheres the pi?"
For my wife's birthday, I bought her some beads for her abacus
It's the little things that count.
What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?
AYE, MATEY!
Got a universal remote for my Birthday.
Well, this changes everything.
You know you’re getting old when…there is nothing left to learn the hard way.
Looking 50 is great! If you’re 60.
Wedding cake tastes just like Birthday cake
It just takes more commitment.
My dad got me a clone of myself for my birthday...
He said “Here, it’s faux you!”