For my birthday, my kids got me an alarm clock that swears at you instead of beeping.
That was quite a rude awakening.
The only thing I got for my wife on her birthday was a big helium balloon.
It didn’t go down very well.
I’m a little confused as to why everyone keeps giving me legos for my birthday.
I don’t know what to make of it.
What is every horses birthday wish?
A stable economy.
What type of music is scary for birthday balloons? Pop music!
What did the Teddy Bear say after blowing out his birthday candles? No cake for me…I’m stuffed
Looking 50 is great! If you’re 60.
I gifted my girlfriend a star for her birthday
I think its perfect, she said she needed some space.
“Dad, why do you always wrap my birthday gifts in this weird fabric?”
Dad: I just wanted to.... make my presents felt.
I handed my dad a calculator for his birthday. with a dissapointed scowl on his face, he asked me: "Wheres the pi?"
For the record, you’re not old, you’re a classic.
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