This whole birthday thing is getting old, don’t you think?
What is every horses birthday wish?
A stable economy.
For my wife's birthday, I bought her some beads for her abacus
It's the little things that count.
You feta have a gouda birthday.
Congrats on proving that getting older doesn’t mean getting wiser.
Be careful, too many birthdays can kill you!
I know birthdays get worse as you get older. But look at the bright side — not too many left now.
Looking 50 is great! If you’re 60.
My dad got me a clone of myself for my birthday...
He said “Here, it’s faux you!”
The girls next door gave me a Rolex for my birthday.
But I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch.
For my birthday, my kids got me an alarm clock that swears at you instead of beeping.
That was quite a rude awakening.
Why do pieces of popcorn always have great birthdays? Because they’re always popping!
For my birthday, my kids got me an alarm clock that swears at you instead of beeping.
That was quite a rude awakening.
For my girlfriend's birthday I got her a dwarfish clown who told jokes...
It wasn't a great gift, but she appreciated the jester.
You are one candle closer to starting a house fire.
People keep getting me clocks for my birthday.
Time and time again.
I handed my dad a calculator for his birthday. with a dissapointed scowl on his face, he asked me: "Wheres the pi?"
I just bought my friend a mini fridge for his birthday
I can’t wait to see his face light up when he opens it.
People keep getting me clocks for my birthday.
Time and time again.
Got a universal remote for my Birthday.
Well, this changes everything.
The only gift I got for my birthday was a deck of sticky playing cards.
I’m having a hard time dealing with it.
I handed my dad a calculator for his birthday. with a dissapointed scowl on his face, he asked me: "Wheres the pi?"
I don't get why a kid in my son's Pre-K class gave everyone an inflatable sword as a party favor for their birthday.
It's pointless.
What did the boy without hands get for his birthday?
Nobody knows, he hasn't got the package open yet.
What type of music is scary for birthday balloons? Pop music!
My girlfriend made me one of those sculpted 3D cakes for my birthday but wouldn't stop reminding me how it took her all day to decorate it..
..which is surprising since to me it looked like a piece of cake.
What goes up but never comes down? Your age!
“Dad, why do you always wrap my birthday gifts in this weird fabric?”
Dad: I just wanted to.... make my presents felt.
Happy birthday to someone old enough to go vintage shopping in their own closet.
For my wife's birthday, I bought her some beads for her abacus
It's the little things that count.
Being related to me is the best birthday gift you could receive.
My wife isn't talking to me because apparently I ruined her birthday....
I don't know how I did that... I didn't even know it was her birthday!
I hope the only things that blow are candles and balloons. Have a great birthday!
More candles means a bigger wish!
I gifted my girlfriend a star for her birthday
I think its perfect, she said she needed some space.
You know you are getting older when the candles don’t fit on the cake.
I gifted my girlfriend a star for her birthday
I think its perfect, she said she needed some space.
Got a universal remote for my Birthday.
Well, this changes everything.
My daughter want's the new iPhone for her birthday. I told her she will get one as long as she has good grades, does her chores, and follows the house rules. Otherwise she will get a cheaper phone, because.
It's my way or the Huawei.
The only thing I got for my wife on her birthday was a big helium balloon.
It didn’t go down very well.
Behind every great parent is a great kid. Happy birthday!
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