I used to be addicted to time travel,
but that's all in the past now.
I would tell a time travel joke,
but you didn't like it.
I've got this awful disease where I can't stop telling airport puns.
I think it may be terminal
My dad thought Cuba would be boring. He's now Havana a really great time.
Pilots would be very hard to beat in a competition, they are always ready for a-rrival.
My little brother had to stay with our parents when we went to Italy. I was free to Rome.
I met my wife at a travel agency
She was looking for a vacation and I was her last resort.
I have always had acrophobia, but the plane flight brought it to a new height.
Why was the ocean angry? Because the ocean didn't wave back.
What did the beach say to the water? "I need some vitamin sea."
What does Father Christmas do for his summer holidays? Santa Cruz.
Every single person on my flight was reading at the same time.
The plane was fully booked.
If a baby is born on a plane, i guess you could call it... airborn.
What kind of chocolate do they sell at the airport?
Plane chocolate
When you cross a magician and an airplane, the result is a flying sorcerer.
My son asked me how often planes crash
Usually just once
Why do the propellers of a plane go around and around?
To keep the pilot cool because if they stopped, man would he sweat
We've been driving all day, I need a brake.
My suitcase started crying when I picked it up. I was carrying emotional baggage.
Some airplanes are so cramped that at the end of the trip, you suffer jet leg.
What happened to the plane run by a computer?
It crashed.
I drank alot of alcohol at the airport last night.
I now have a terminal hangover.
A ship wanted to travel from the Pacific to the Arctic
But it just couldn't get its Bering Strait.
I am lucky to live in an airport, but whenever the guard comes out at night, Heathrows me out.
Did you hear about the vultures who went to check-in for their flight at the airport? When the check-in agent asked them if they had any luggage to check, they replied, no we just have carri-on.
Where do sharks go when they want a vacation? Finland
I sued the airport authorities because they misplaced my belongings
I lost the case
Flight attendants fly with a very meaningful motto: always look on the flight side of life.
On a recent flight, my friend asked me, "If the door suddenly opens, you think we will fall out?
I said, "No, we will still be friends."
My dad used to be an airline pilot, but he decided to retire because it got too Boe-ing.
I was arrested at the airport. Just because I was greeting my cousin Jack!
All that I said was "Hi Jack", but very loud.
Volcanoes are rude! They are always int-erupt-ing.
The pilot was lucky. He always had work. Whenever he made an application, it was almost certain that he would land a job.
Cows that travel alone?
Never herd of them!
Why did the volcano say to the mountain? I lava you
If you are going to sleep, I wish you suite dreams.
As you would expect, most airline pilots make friends only in high places.
Prague is my number one choice for a dream destination...
Dying to Czech it out
The company is planning to make a new series to show people how to fly an aeroplane. They are now filming the pilot.
Los Angeles International Airport should sell their own brand of laxatives called LAXatives.
I wouldn't say that flying is my favorite way to travel...
But it's up there.
A security guard at an airport informs the pilot of a man trying to sneak contraband onto an airplane.
The pilot responds, "That's not going to fly."
This palace is a breath of fresh heir!
Airlines have nowadays become so cash strapped that they charge you for everything including emotional baggage.
What do we call an airplane that cannot take off? It is called an error plane.
People who fall sick at the airport possibly end up with terminal illness.
In spite of all restrictions because of Covid, diplomats are allowed to travel freely across countries.
Because they have immunity.
I never get tide down to one place when there's so much to sea.
I was so tired. I needed a sea-esta on the beach.
Checking in for a flight, I was asked, "Window or Aisle?"
I said, "Window or you'll do what?
What happened when a man practiced archery near some stationary planes? They ended up very arrow-dynamic.
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