I’ve always liked one-liners. That’s why I’m a fan of monorails.
The US army secretly trains pigeons to help overthrow hostile foreign governments.
It’s a military coo.
Why should you never trust a train? They have loco motives.
A fired newspaper editor took an ex-press train out of town.
My boss said to me, “You are the worst train operator ever. How many trains have you derailed in the past year?”
I said, “I’m not sure. It’s so hard to keep track.”
I saw a guy on the train holding a newspaper in front of his face.
He was behind The Times.
What kind of a car does a crazy man drive? A LOCOmotive.
Where do crabs and lobsters catch their trains?
King's Crustation.
A friend got to the final of the local model railway competition. He lost on points.
What happened to the man that took the 5 o’clock train home? He had to give it back!
Why are the railroad tracks angry? Because people are always crossing them.
What’s the difference between a teacher and a railway security guard? One trains the mind, the other minds the train.
If you walk along a railroad track you may soon feel run down.
Got a couple of railway buffers going cheap. It was an end of line sale.
Why didn't the conductor know what to do when he found that his train was missing?
He wasn't trained for this.
I miss the old days of railway when the engineer had plenty of esteem.
The school teacher tells you to spit out your gum, while the locomotive says “Choo Choo Choo!”
I’ve always liked one-liners. That’s why I’m a fan of monorails.
I've always wanted to become a podiatrist, but was made to train as a paediatrician first.
Baby steps.
Went to a railway fancy dress party. Everyone was wearing platforms.
What do you call a locomotive with a cold? A choo choo train.
What do you call a train that sneezes? Achoo-choo train.
How long does it take for electricity to travel the length of a 10 car train?
It all depends on the conductor.
A friend got to the final of the local model railway competition. He lost on points.
Never liked the troll who lives under the local railway bridge. He’s my arch enemy.
Why did the train have bubble gum? Because he wanted to go Choo Choo
Went to a railway fancy dress party. Everyone was wearing platforms.
Never going drinking with Train drivers again.
All they did all night was tell me to ‘chug,chug,chug,chug.’
I am on the train and a light just came on saying the toilet is engaged.
Congratulations, toilet!
A railroad engineer must be sure not to lose his train of thought or he might go down the wrong track.
Did you hear about the train that dressed up for Halloween?
It became a fright train.
I used to be a railroad conductor, but my boss found out I wasn’t trained.
Did you hear about the man who sat next to his clone on the train?
He was beside himself.
What do you give a train driver for Christmas? Platform shoes!
New electric trains will run on conductors.
I asked a train engineer how many times his train had derailed. He said, “I’m not sure, it’s hard to keep track.”
I know an elephant who refused to travel by train because he didn’t want to leave his trunk in the baggage car.
Go to BabaMail
