Never going drinking with Train drivers again.
All they did all night was tell me to ‘chug,chug,chug,chug.’
If you walk along a railroad track you may soon feel run down.
Why can’t the engineer be electrocuted? Because he’s not a conductor!
Why did the monster eat the caboose? The locomotive told it to choo choo.
First time hunters were arguing over which kind of animal tracks they had found when they were hit by a train.
Those who steal trains must have a loco–motive!
What did the Mama Steam Engine say to her Baby Steam Engine at supper time? “Choo choo!”
Why did the train have to rush to the bathroom?
It’s been toot toot tootin all day long!
A friend of mine quit his job as a reporter and left town by railway. It was an ex-press train.
A fired newspaper editor took an ex-press train out of town.
What happened to the man that took the 5 o’clock train home? He had to give it back!
I am on the train and a light just came on saying the toilet is engaged.
Congratulations, toilet!
Did you hear about the train that dressed up for Halloween?
It became a fright train.
Ticket inspectors. You’ve got to hand it to them…
What is as big as a steam locomotive, but weighs nothing? Its shadow.
I don’t want to drive you crazy, but I do have a loco-motive
Why didn't the conductor know what to do when he found that his train was missing?
He wasn't trained for this.
I miss the old days of railway when the engineer had plenty of esteem.
What do you give a train driver for Christmas? Platform shoes!
The school teacher tells you to spit out your gum, while the locomotive says “Choo Choo Choo!”
What did the monster say when he saw a rush hour train full of passengers? Oh good! A chew chew train!
Did you hear about the boy who had to do a project on trains? He had to keep track of everything!
I know someone who tried to runway after camouflaging a railway. He tried to cover his tracks.
I asked a train engineer how many times his train had derailed. He said, “I’m not sure, it’s hard to keep track.”
Got a couple of railway buffers going cheap. It was an end of line sale.
What kind of a car does a crazy man drive? A LOCOmotive.
Never liked the troll who lives under the local railway bridge. He’s my arch enemy.
How do you find a missing train? Follow the tracks
What do you call a train loaded with bubble gum? A chew-chew train.
How do locomotives hear? Through the engineers!
I just quit my job as a train driver a few weeks ago.
I can't help but feel that my life has gone off the rails since.
Went to a railway fancy dress party. Everyone was wearing platforms.
Why don’t elephants like to ride on trains? Because they hate leaving their trunks in the baggage car.
My boss said to me, “You are the worst train operator ever. How many trains have you derailed in the past year?”
I said, “I’m not sure. It’s so hard to keep track.”
Got a couple of railway buffers going cheap. It was an end of line sale.
Did you hear about the man who sat next to his clone on the train?
He was beside himself.
I was running to catch a train yesterday, but just as I was approaching it...
I realized my net wasn't big enough.
How do trains eat?
They chew chew.
Why are ghosts no good at running a railway? A. Because they can’t even put on a skeleton service!