I gave someone directions to a theater today
I guess I am a movie director now.
An actor arrived for his rehearsal at the theatre.
As he looked around, an incredible feeling of deja vu swept over him.
Suddenly he realised the set seemed like a weird adaption of his apartment, the actress looked like an odd version of his wife, and the director sounded like an eerie rendition of his dad.
"Uncanny!" He thought. "I've arrived at a strange stage of my life".
It may just be a stage I'm going through, but I sure do love the trapdoors on set.
There are two people who both claim to live in the building where Shakespeare wrote Romeo & Juliet. They should put a plaque on both their houses.
I went to a theater performance done on a bunch of dictionaries the other day...
It was a play on words.
The skeleton would love to see the latest horror flick, but he just doesn't have the guts for it.
My buddy was cast in Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs, but he was still angry because he wasn't Happy.
I tried to come up with a funny theatre joke, but it was all just an act.
A pig and a horse walk into a movie theater.
The horse didn't feel like buying popcorn so he brought some hay. A theater employee saw him and said. "Are you sneaking outside food into the theater?"
The horse said "nay."
The pig squealed.
When the theatre owner dies, his visitation hours are as follows: 1pm, 3pm, 6:30 pm, 9pm, and midnight.
Everyone was spot on, you really did make a great theatre lighting tech.
Don't theater jokes always seem so staged?
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
I had a job directing an elementary school theater production.
It wasn't hard work, after all, it was child's play.
Theater sound guys aren't always good speakers
I thought the play was frightful but I saw it under particularly unfortunate circumstances - the curtain was up.
Show your popcorn and coke guy at the movies a little appreciation. After all, he makes a lot of concessions.
Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at Theatre of Pompey
Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?
Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...
Brutus: I ate 2 slices.
Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?
Coming to theaters: the thrilling tale of a man who ate biographical books instead of turkey on Thanksgiving.
Baste on a true story.
Choreographers are always hard to get in touch with because they are always blocking you.
Today, we had to create a new hang position for some lighting fixtures. After all day trying, we couldn't get the new batten hung properly.
Turns out it was just a pipe dream.
Theatre - the one place it doesn't pay to read between the line.
Why do thespians have great hair? They want the perfect part.
I'm coming out of the closet to tell everyone I was just hired as a seamstress for the theatre.
Who are the biggest fans at the theatre? The backstage crew - They're always giving props to the actors.
Great news! I'm a movie director now! I gave stellar directions to a very lovely family on their way to the theatre.
My theater group is writing a sci-fi thriller about classical musicians.
I'll be Bach.
Why did the penguin enter the theatre?
He wanted to go into snow business
We should've guessed the failed postman wouldn't be any better at delivering his acting lines.
Why did the Lord of the Rings author get kicked out of the movie theatre.
He was Tolkien all the way through.
An actor I know fell through the floor recently. It's just a stage he was going through.