Why do poltergeists love haunting old theaters?
Because they can't wait to boo the performers.
Opening a new shadow puppet theatre. Business plan says we'll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.
What did the thief steal on the theatre's opening night? The spotlight.
I just got fired from my theatre job. I guess I should've made a bigger scene about it.
My friend told me he had to leave the play after Act l. Knowing he'd waited forever to see it, I asked him why. He said the program stated that Act ll was two years later, and he refused to wait that long.
Coming to theaters: the thrilling tale of a man who ate biographical books instead of turkey on Thanksgiving.
Baste on a true story.
Why do thespians have great hair? They want the perfect part.
My buddy was cast in Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs, but he was still angry because he wasn't Happy.
My theater group is writing a sci-fi thriller about classical musicians.
I'll be Bach.
I thought the play was frightful but I saw it under particularly unfortunate circumstances - the curtain was up.
We should've guessed the failed postman wouldn't be any better at delivering his acting lines.
My dad always said the secret to theatre was to always leave them wanting more.
He was a great guy but a terrible anaesthetist.
I gave someone directions to a theater today
I guess I am a movie director now.
Theater sound guys aren't always good speakers
Couple of friends have decided to put theatre style seats in their house. It will end in tiers.
Friend of mine got sacked as a set designer for not producing anything. He didn't make a scene.
Tried acting in a theatre full of farmers. Got mooed off stage.
Building a good makeup design always starts with a good foundation.
I'm coming out of the closet to tell everyone I was just hired as a seamstress for the theatre.
Great news! I'm a movie director now! I gave stellar directions to a very lovely family on their way to the theatre.
The ghost scared all the boys who ventured into the haunted house and then varnished into the almirah!
A prankster played a really dark and dim-witted joke at the theatre. He turned off the lights.
You know why theater people say "break a leg" instead of good luck?
Because if you do, you'll end up in a cast!
If you don't focus on learning your lines for the production, I shutter to imagine what the reviewers will snap about.
An actor arrived for his rehearsal at the theatre.
As he looked around, an incredible feeling of deja vu swept over him.
Suddenly he realised the set seemed like a weird adaption of his apartment, the actress looked like an odd version of his wife, and the director sounded like an eerie rendition of his dad.
"Uncanny!" He thought. "I've arrived at a strange stage of my life".
Why did the penguin enter the theatre?
He wanted to go into snow business
The skeleton would love to see the latest horror flick, but he just doesn't have the guts for it.
There are two people who both claim to live in the building where Shakespeare wrote Romeo & Juliet. They should put a plaque on both their houses.
I had a job directing an elementary school theater production.
It wasn't hard work, after all, it was child's play.
Our backstage manager is leaving at the end of the year. He has been an outstanding member of our theatre team.
Props to him.
My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink
*No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the movie theatre*
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