My buddy was cast in Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs, but he was still angry because he wasn't Happy.
Why did the penguin enter the theatre?
He wanted to go into snow business
Theater sound guys aren't always good speakers
When the theatre owner dies, his visitation hours are as follows: 1pm, 3pm, 6:30 pm, 9pm, and midnight.
Don't theater jokes always seem so staged?
Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at Theatre of Pompey
Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?
Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...
Brutus: I ate 2 slices.
Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?
Tried acting in a theatre full of farmers. Got mooed off stage.
Great news! I'm a movie director now! I gave stellar directions to a very lovely family on their way to the theatre.
My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink
*No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the movie theatre*
Opening a new shadow puppet theatre. Business plan says we'll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.
Thankfully, not too many thieves are interested in acting on stage. They'd surely steal the show.
What did the thief steal on the theatre's opening night? The spotlight.
Choreographers are always hard to get in touch with because they are always blocking you.
If you don't focus on learning your lines for the production, I shutter to imagine what the reviewers will snap about.
A prankster played a really dark and dim-witted joke at the theatre. He turned off the lights.
I just got fired from my theatre job. I guess I should've made a bigger scene about it.
Building a good makeup design always starts with a good foundation.
I seem to find a way of sneaking chocolate into movie theaters..
.. I always have a few twix up my sleeve.
My dad always said the secret to theatre was to always leave them wanting more.
He was a great guy but a terrible anaesthetist.
Why do poltergeists love haunting old theaters?
Because they can't wait to boo the performers.
It may just be a stage I'm going through, but I sure do love the trapdoors on set.
Everyone was spot on, you really did make a great theatre lighting tech.
Why the skeleton doesn't go to the theater?
Because he has nobody to go with.
There are two people who both claim to live in the building where Shakespeare wrote Romeo & Juliet. They should put a plaque on both their houses.
An actor arrived for his rehearsal at the theatre.
As he looked around, an incredible feeling of deja vu swept over him.
Suddenly he realised the set seemed like a weird adaption of his apartment, the actress looked like an odd version of his wife, and the director sounded like an eerie rendition of his dad.
"Uncanny!" He thought. "I've arrived at a strange stage of my life".
My theater group is writing a sci-fi thriller about classical musicians.
I'll be Bach.
Friend of mine got sacked as a set designer for not producing anything. He didn't make a scene.
Our backstage manager is leaving at the end of the year. He has been an outstanding member of our theatre team.
Props to him.
Theatre costumes must be handled with care since they're often laced with something.
You know why theater people say "break a leg" instead of good luck?
Because if you do, you'll end up in a cast!
I wonder why theatres are so sad? They're always dark, moody, and in tiers.
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