When the theatre owner dies, his visitation hours are as follows: 1pm, 3pm, 6:30 pm, 9pm, and midnight.
Theatre - the one place it doesn't pay to read between the line.
This hottie has forever changed the film industry, and it starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'. Reel your mind back in - we're talking popcorn!
Friend of mine got sacked as a set designer for not producing anything. He didn't make a scene.
Why the skeleton doesn't go to the theater?
Because he has nobody to go with.
Why do poltergeists love haunting old theaters?
Because they can't wait to boo the performers.
Never date a Theater person...
... wayyy too much Drama...
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
Why did the Lord of the Rings author get kicked out of the movie theatre.
He was Tolkien all the way through.
I keep looking at our upstage platform that is designed with only a ladder for access. It's just so hard not to stair.
Great news! I'm a movie director now! I gave stellar directions to a very lovely family on their way to the theatre.
All theatres love to see scarecrows out in the audience as reviewers! They're simply outstanding in their field.
A classically trainer theater performer just became a spy.
I guess you could say they perform... thespionage
My friend told me he had to leave the play after Act l. Knowing he'd waited forever to see it, I asked him why. He said the program stated that Act ll was two years later, and he refused to wait that long.
The ghost scared all the boys who ventured into the haunted house and then varnished into the almirah!
If you don't focus on learning your lines for the production, I shutter to imagine what the reviewers will snap about.
I gave someone directions to a theater today
I guess I am a movie director now.
My dad always said the secret to theatre was to always leave them wanting more.
He was a great guy but a terrible anaesthetist.
A pig and a horse walk into a movie theater.
The horse didn't feel like buying popcorn so he brought some hay. A theater employee saw him and said. "Are you sneaking outside food into the theater?"
The horse said "nay."
The pig squealed.
I went to a theater performance done on a bunch of dictionaries the other day...
It was a play on words.
Coming to theaters: the thrilling tale of a man who ate biographical books instead of turkey on Thanksgiving.
Baste on a true story.
An actor arrived for his rehearsal at the theatre.
As he looked around, an incredible feeling of deja vu swept over him.
Suddenly he realised the set seemed like a weird adaption of his apartment, the actress looked like an odd version of his wife, and the director sounded like an eerie rendition of his dad.
"Uncanny!" He thought. "I've arrived at a strange stage of my life".
Choreographers are always hard to get in touch with because they are always blocking you.
I just got fired from my theatre job. I guess I should've made a bigger scene about it.
I wonder why theatres are so sad? They're always dark, moody, and in tiers.
I thought the play was frightful but I saw it under particularly unfortunate circumstances - the curtain was up.
The stage is the most hygienic place in the world. Every time we turn on the lights they get a wash.
Theater sound guys aren't always good speakers
My theater group is writing a sci-fi thriller about classical musicians.
I'll be Bach.
I seem to find a way of sneaking chocolate into movie theaters..
.. I always have a few twix up my sleeve.
Why do thespians have great hair? They want the perfect part.
We should've guessed the failed postman wouldn't be any better at delivering his acting lines.
There are two people who both claim to live in the building where Shakespeare wrote Romeo & Juliet. They should put a plaque on both their houses.
A friend has joined a blonds only theatre group. Fair play to him.
My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink
*No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the movie theatre*
Opening a new shadow puppet theatre. Business plan says we'll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
Our backstage manager is leaving at the end of the year. He has been an outstanding member of our theatre team.
Props to him.
It may just be a stage I'm going through, but I sure do love the trapdoors on set.
My buddy was cast in Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs, but he was still angry because he wasn't Happy.
You know why theater people say "break a leg" instead of good luck?
Because if you do, you'll end up in a cast!
Couple of friends have decided to put theatre style seats in their house. It will end in tiers.
Today, we had to create a new hang position for some lighting fixtures. After all day trying, we couldn't get the new batten hung properly.
Turns out it was just a pipe dream.
Who are the biggest fans at the theatre? The backstage crew - They're always giving props to the actors.
I'm coming out of the closet to tell everyone I was just hired as a seamstress for the theatre.
A prankster played a really dark and dim-witted joke at the theatre. He turned off the lights.
Tried acting in a theatre full of farmers. Got mooed off stage.
What did the thief steal on the theatre's opening night? The spotlight.
Thankfully, not too many thieves are interested in acting on stage. They'd surely steal the show.
I tried to come up with a funny theatre joke, but it was all just an act.
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