There are two people who both claim to live in the building where Shakespeare wrote Romeo & Juliet. They should put a plaque on both their houses.
Show your popcorn and coke guy at the movies a little appreciation. After all, he makes a lot of concessions.
Why did the penguin enter the theatre?
He wanted to go into snow business
Never date a Theater person...
... wayyy too much Drama...
I keep looking at our upstage platform that is designed with only a ladder for access. It's just so hard not to stair.
An actor arrived for his rehearsal at the theatre.
As he looked around, an incredible feeling of deja vu swept over him.
Suddenly he realised the set seemed like a weird adaption of his apartment, the actress looked like an odd version of his wife, and the director sounded like an eerie rendition of his dad.
"Uncanny!" He thought. "I've arrived at a strange stage of my life".
Why do poltergeists love haunting old theaters?
Because they can't wait to boo the performers.
A friend has joined a blonds only theatre group. Fair play to him.
Why did the Lord of the Rings author get kicked out of the movie theatre.
He was Tolkien all the way through.
Thankfully, not too many thieves are interested in acting on stage. They'd surely steal the show.
I thought the play was frightful but I saw it under particularly unfortunate circumstances - the curtain was up.
Building a good makeup design always starts with a good foundation.
My theater group is writing a sci-fi thriller about classical musicians.
I'll be Bach.
If you don't focus on learning your lines for the production, I shutter to imagine what the reviewers will snap about.
Great news! I'm a movie director now! I gave stellar directions to a very lovely family on their way to the theatre.
I tried to come up with a funny theatre joke, but it was all just an act.
Friend of mine got sacked as a set designer for not producing anything. He didn't make a scene.
Coming to theaters: the thrilling tale of a man who ate biographical books instead of turkey on Thanksgiving.
Baste on a true story.
Theater sound guys aren't always good speakers
My buddy was cast in Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs, but he was still angry because he wasn't Happy.
The stage is the most hygienic place in the world. Every time we turn on the lights they get a wash.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
Who are the biggest fans at the theatre? The backstage crew - They're always giving props to the actors.
An actor I know fell through the floor recently. It's just a stage he was going through.
My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink
*No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the movie theatre*
When the theatre owner dies, his visitation hours are as follows: 1pm, 3pm, 6:30 pm, 9pm, and midnight.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
Couple of friends have decided to put theatre style seats in their house. It will end in tiers.
I went to a theater performance done on a bunch of dictionaries the other day...
It was a play on words.
I wonder why theatres are so sad? They're always dark, moody, and in tiers.
Theatre costumes must be handled with care since they're often laced with something.
I seem to find a way of sneaking chocolate into movie theaters..
.. I always have a few twix up my sleeve.
Why do thespians have great hair? They want the perfect part.
Theatre - the one place it doesn't pay to read between the line.
A pig and a horse walk into a movie theater.
The horse didn't feel like buying popcorn so he brought some hay. A theater employee saw him and said. "Are you sneaking outside food into the theater?"
The horse said "nay."
The pig squealed.
I had a job directing an elementary school theater production.
It wasn't hard work, after all, it was child's play.
The ghost scared all the boys who ventured into the haunted house and then varnished into the almirah!
Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at Theatre of Pompey
Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?
Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...
Brutus: I ate 2 slices.
Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?
Why the skeleton doesn't go to the theater?
Because he has nobody to go with.
Everyone was spot on, you really did make a great theatre lighting tech.
My dad always said the secret to theatre was to always leave them wanting more.
He was a great guy but a terrible anaesthetist.
A prankster played a really dark and dim-witted joke at the theatre. He turned off the lights.
We should've guessed the failed postman wouldn't be any better at delivering his acting lines.
It may just be a stage I'm going through, but I sure do love the trapdoors on set.
I gave someone directions to a theater today
I guess I am a movie director now.
Opening a new shadow puppet theatre. Business plan says we'll make a fortune, but those are just projected figures.
A classically trainer theater performer just became a spy.
I guess you could say they perform... thespionage
Choreographers are always hard to get in touch with because they are always blocking you.
All theatres love to see scarecrows out in the audience as reviewers! They're simply outstanding in their field.
What did the thief steal on the theatre's opening night? The spotlight.
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