I had a job directing an elementary school theater production.
It wasn't hard work, after all, it was child's play.
Choreographers are always hard to get in touch with because they are always blocking you.
A friend has joined a blonds only theatre group. Fair play to him.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
I thought the play was frightful but I saw it under particularly unfortunate circumstances - the curtain was up.
All theatres love to see scarecrows out in the audience as reviewers! They're simply outstanding in their field.
Why the skeleton doesn't go to the theater?
Because he has nobody to go with.
If you don't focus on learning your lines for the production, I shutter to imagine what the reviewers will snap about.
Great news! I'm a movie director now! I gave stellar directions to a very lovely family on their way to the theatre.
My grandfather warned people that the Titanic would sink
*No one listened, but he kept on warning them nonetheless until they got sick of him and kicked him out of the movie theatre*
I'm coming out of the closet to tell everyone I was just hired as a seamstress for the theatre.
An actor arrived for his rehearsal at the theatre.
As he looked around, an incredible feeling of deja vu swept over him.
Suddenly he realised the set seemed like a weird adaption of his apartment, the actress looked like an odd version of his wife, and the director sounded like an eerie rendition of his dad.
"Uncanny!" He thought. "I've arrived at a strange stage of my life".
Theater sound guys aren't always good speakers
A classically trainer theater performer just became a spy.
I guess you could say they perform... thespionage
Couple of friends have decided to put theatre style seats in their house. It will end in tiers.
Our backstage manager is leaving at the end of the year. He has been an outstanding member of our theatre team.
Props to him.
An actor I know fell through the floor recently. It's just a stage he was going through.
Thankfully, not too many thieves are interested in acting on stage. They'd surely steal the show.
A prankster played a really dark and dim-witted joke at the theatre. He turned off the lights.
The stage is the most hygienic place in the world. Every time we turn on the lights they get a wash.
Show your popcorn and coke guy at the movies a little appreciation. After all, he makes a lot of concessions.
What did the thief steal on the theatre's opening night? The spotlight.
Why do thespians have great hair? They want the perfect part.
I went to a theater performance done on a bunch of dictionaries the other day...
It was a play on words.
I tried to come up with a funny theatre joke, but it was all just an act.
Why do poltergeists love haunting old theaters?
Because they can't wait to boo the performers.
Friend of mine got sacked as a set designer for not producing anything. He didn't make a scene.
Why did the Lord of the Rings author get kicked out of the movie theatre.
He was Tolkien all the way through.
Tried acting in a theatre full of farmers. Got mooed off stage.
Julius Caesar ordered pizza for the senate at Theatre of Pompey
Casca: How could you not order enough pizza for everyone?
Julius: But there was enough for everybody to have a slice...
Brutus: I ate 2 slices.
Julius: ATE TWO, BRUTE?
It may just be a stage I'm going through, but I sure do love the trapdoors on set.
The ghost scared all the boys who ventured into the haunted house and then varnished into the almirah!
My dad always said the secret to theatre was to always leave them wanting more.
He was a great guy but a terrible anaesthetist.
We should've guessed the failed postman wouldn't be any better at delivering his acting lines.
I seem to find a way of sneaking chocolate into movie theaters..
.. I always have a few twix up my sleeve.
Everyone was spot on, you really did make a great theatre lighting tech.
My buddy was cast in Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs, but he was still angry because he wasn't Happy.
You know why theater people say "break a leg" instead of good luck?
Because if you do, you'll end up in a cast!
A pig and a horse walk into a movie theater.
The horse didn't feel like buying popcorn so he brought some hay. A theater employee saw him and said. "Are you sneaking outside food into the theater?"
The horse said "nay."
The pig squealed.
Don't theater jokes always seem so staged?
Q: Did you hear about the blonde couple that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theatre?
A: They apparently went to see "Closed For The Winter"
My theater group is writing a sci-fi thriller about classical musicians.
I'll be Bach.
I just got fired from my theatre job. I guess I should've made a bigger scene about it.
When the theatre owner dies, his visitation hours are as follows: 1pm, 3pm, 6:30 pm, 9pm, and midnight.
I gave someone directions to a theater today
I guess I am a movie director now.
This hottie has forever changed the film industry, and it starts with the letter P and ends with 'orn'. Reel your mind back in - we're talking popcorn!
I keep looking at our upstage platform that is designed with only a ladder for access. It's just so hard not to stair.
Theatre costumes must be handled with care since they're often laced with something.
There are two people who both claim to live in the building where Shakespeare wrote Romeo & Juliet. They should put a plaque on both their houses.
Theatre - the one place it doesn't pay to read between the line.
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