What did the manager say to the realtor who kept forgetting to sign the agreement?
He said, "Just do the deed."
Did you hear about the final remaining unit in the apartment building?
It was last but not leased.
The French real estate agent was very upset when their new listing was destroyed.
He said it was chateau-strophic!
Why did the house make an appointment with the doctor?
It had a window-pane.
What are sophisticated realtors known for?
Constantly telling you all about proper tea.
What did the happy realtor say to his client after making the deal?
He said, "Well, all's well that dwells well."
You just can’t trust real estate developers.
They’re always busy with plots and schemes.
How can you tell if a real estate agent is British?
They’re all about proper tea.
How do you make a million dollars in real estate?
You start out with two million.
When it comes to board games about buying real estate, Hasbro has a monopoly…
What did the realtor reply when I asked if he liked reading real estate magazines?
"Yes, I love reading them but only periodically".
Why was the realtor in counseling?
He couldn’t get closure.
What are the three things most important to bats about their local real estate?
Echolocation. Echolocation. Echolocation.
What is the only similarity between a UFO and an affordable agent?
You usually hear about both but can never ever see one!
Why is it a bad idea to pick a fight with a real estate agent?
They can flip houses whenever they want!
How does a dual agent sleep?
Well, first he lies on one side, then he lies on the other.
What’s a real estate agent’s favorite song?
“For Lease Navidad.”
There are three things verbose realtors find most important:
Loquacion. Loquacion. Loquacion.
Do truckers prefer houses with long-haul ways?
A brand new real estate agent walks into a Realtor’s office for their interview. “It says here you quit your last job selling duct tape after only three months,” the Realtor asked. “Why did you quit?” “I just couldn’t stick with it,” they responded.
Why did the mortgage broker always eat lunch by himself?
He was a loaner.
Why is it so tough to become a real estate attorney?
You always have to deal with battles of wills.
My wife and I went to see a realtor.
“Have you guys considered moving houses?” he asked.
I said, “No, we don’t like caravans.”
I have no problem with listings with finished basements.
They’re my best cellars!
Why did the realtor buy his home right beside a porta-potty?
Because it was a leakfront property!
Why was the realtor upset with his truck driver client one day?
The client wanted a house with really long haul ways.
What happens when you marry the best real estate agent in town?
He sells you the engagement ring.
Why do realtors love skateboards?
Because they can flip them whenever they want!
My real estate agent lied. He said my house had a 1,000 carpet area, but I could barely fit in 4 cars and 4 dogs in there...
Never bet on real estate. The house always wins.
Did you hear the joke about the roof? I doubt you’d get it. It’s over your head.
Why did an agent decide to hide his realtor license?
Because he wanted to be a secret agent.
Which Led Zeppelin song do realtors love most?
“A Whole Lot Of Love.”
My realtor promised to give me a free abacus if he could close the deal.
I’m unsure whether to count on it or not.
What did the realtor say to his wife?
"Speaking with you felt like buying a house for the first time - thrilling and nervous."
The man who invented the door knocker won a no-bell prize.
My brother is a real estate agent. He greets me with, "Hey bro, house it going?"
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