What do you call a sheep with a machine gun?
Lambo.
My friend was bragging that his new 3D printer can print a gun, but I’m not impressed.
I’ve had a Canon printer for years.
A sad bullet comes home to his family.
"Honey you look terrible!" Exclaims his wife. "What happened?"
"I got fired."
Why did the man bring a gun to the clock factory?
To kill some time.
I went to test my new gun at the range, but couldn’t make it work.
Now I have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual.
Never criticize a gun owner until you've walked a mile in his shoes
That way he'll be barefoot and you'll be out of range.
What do you call babies with guns?
Infantry.
A man arrived to a gun fight with nothing other than a pencil and paper.
He then proceeded to draw his weapon.
You’re traveling the Oregon Trail and you meet a man named Terry. You say “Terry? That’s a girls name!” He pulls out his gun and shoots you.
You have died from dissin' Terry.
Should a gun company rename themselves "Question"?
That's a loaded Question
Why did Immanuel Kant lend his machine gun to forces plotting a military coup?
Because he willed that his Maxim could make a general rule.
A functional gun shoots
While a broke one needs troubleshooting.
What did the British man say to the man with the submachine gun he's never met?
Uzi?
What sound did the gun make when the priest shot through two benches to kill a mass shooter?
PEW PEW
I’m sure my wife has been putting glue on my weapons collection.
She denies it, but I’m sticking to my guns.
I buy all my guns from a guy named T-Rex...
He's a small arms dealer.
What caliber is Chekhov's gun?
Catch-22.
What kind of gun would a cat have?
A Mauser.
Octopus: [holding a gun in each hand]
Cat: You're one short buddy.
What gun does a military chef use?
A salt rifle.
What is Tesla's favorite gun?
A musket
Guns don’t kill people...
Bullets, it’s bullets that kill people.
What do you call the first person to kill someone with a gun?
First person shooter
What do you call a problematic person with a gun?
A troubleshooter.
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