The farmer had such a bad headache he had to retire. He was sick of his grains.
If a man is alone in the garden and speaks, and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?
Ants in your plants.
I beg your garden?
Did you hear about the squirrel diet? It’s nuts!
Why was the gardener so busy over the weekend?
He had a long honeydew list.
Ow did the millionaire gardener get rich so quickly?
He was running a huge pansy scheme.
I had a job drilling holes for water. It was well boring.
Did you hear the gardener's joke about the old oak tree?
It's acorny one!
We’re mint to be.
Gardening question: Does anyone know a good place where I can buy a fern? Asking for a frond.
I want to start gardening, but I haven’t botany plants.
Farmers are real experts, they are often outstanding in their fields.
All clover the world.
One more thyme.
What did the gardeners say when he discovered nasty weeds in his garden?
I have spotted spurge!
What kind of socks does a gardener wear?
Garden hose!
I used to make lots of money clearing leaves from gardens. I was raking it in.
A magic tractor drove down the road and turned into a field!
If, instead of talking to your plants, you yelled at them, would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?
My leaf blower doesn’t work. It just sucks!
In the eyes of the lawn.
I asked the staff at my local garden center what to grow in my garden. They gave me some sage advice.
I’ve started to plant my herbs in alphabetical order. People ask me how I find the time. I tell them “it’s next to the sage”.
What happened to the Venus Fly Trap's plant food?
The arbor-ate-em.
I’m rooting for you!
What do you call it when worms eat all of the plants and take over the world?
Global Worming.
Why didn’t anyone laugh at the gardener’s jokes?
Because they were too corny!
What do you get if you cross a four-leaf clover with poison ivy?
A rash of good luck.
What kind of garden flowers grow in outer space?
Moonflowers, Sunflowers, Star Clusters, and Cosmos.
Mountains aren’t just funny. They’re hill areas.
Winter does not arrive until the ice is in the compost heap. Spring does not arrive until the ice is out of the compost.
Sherlock Holmes was doing some gardening, Watson asked what he was planting. He replied “A lemon tree, my dear Watson”.
Long thyme no see.
It’s party thyme.
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