Garden centers are attempting to stem a fall in the sale of fresh flowers.
Farmers are real experts, they are often outstanding in their fields.
You’re unbeleafable.
I started an insurance company for flower and gardening businesses...
It's called "oopsie daisies."
I’ve started to plant my herbs in alphabetical order. People ask me how I find the time. I tell them “it’s next to the sage”.
Why was the gardener so busy over the weekend?
He had a long honeydew list.
Did you hear about the squirrel diet? It’s nuts!
My neighbor asked me if he could borrow my lawnmower. It told him he could; if he did not take it out of my yard.
I want to start gardening, but I haven’t botany plants.
Why do gardeners plant bulbs? So the worms can see where they’re going.
I'm a gardener and I'm OK
I sleep all night and I plant all day!
I dress in grubby clothing and hang around with slugs.
Oh I'm happy in the garden
With dirt and plants and bugs.
One bonsai tree grower was so successful he moved into a miniature house.
What did the gardeners say when he discovered nasty weeds in his garden?
I have spotted spurge!
What do you call a book on underwater gardening?
A self-kelp book.
I’m kind of a big dill.
Gardening question: Does anyone know a good place where I can buy a fern? Asking for a frond.
Do you need some encourage-mint?
Over quarantine, I’ve really gotten into gardening. I am especially enamored with growing chard varieties. So much so I’ve written a book of poems about their taproots.
I hope to one day be recognized as the beet poet of our generation!
When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
What is the wise gardener's mantra?
Weed 'Em and Reap!
A magic tractor drove down the road and turned into a field!
What kind of garden flowers grow in outer space?
Moonflowers, Sunflowers, Star Clusters, and Cosmos.
Why did the gardener need a cork?
Because his garden sprung a leek!
When does a farmer dance? When he drops the beet.
After a year of waiting, my publisher finally approved my book on gardening
It's about Thyme.
What do you call an everyday potato? A commen-tater.
What’s a corn farmer’s favorite animal? The unicorn.
I’ll never leaf you.
Cleaning my cold frame is a pane in the glass.
We’re mint to be.
How do you know you are a Master Gardener?
There is a decorative compost container on your kitchen counter.
You would rather go to a nursery to shop than a clothing store.
You prefer gardening to watching television.
You plan vacation trips to arboretums and public parks.
Dirt under your fingernails and calloused palms are matters of pride.
The farmer had such a bad headache he had to retire. He was sick of his grains.
Scarecrows always garden their patch.
What do you get if you cross a four-leaf clover with poison ivy?
A rash of good luck.
All clover the world.
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