What did the gardeners say when he discovered nasty weeds in his garden?
I have spotted spurge!
Many gardeners suffer from hay fever. Isn’t that news a pollen?
Do you know what really bugs me? Insect puns.
What happened to the Venus Fly Trap's plant food?
The arbor-ate-em.
Have you botany plants lately?
Why didn’t anyone laugh at the gardener’s jokes?
Because they were too corny!
How to stop a dog from digging in a garden?
Start right! Never let the dog see you digging... Doggy see doggy do.
She didn’t date the gardener. He was too rough around the hedges.
If, instead of talking to your plants, you yelled at them, would they still grow, only to be troubled and insecure?
Let me plant one on ya!
Dew is formed on leaves when the sun shines down on them and makes them perspire.
Mushrooms always grow in damp places and so they look like umbrellas.
The pistol of a flower is its only protection against insects.
Germinate: To become a naturalized German.
Rhubarb: A kind of celery gone bloodshot.
Mountains aren’t just funny. They’re hill areas.
What is the wise gardener's mantra?
Weed 'Em and Reap!
I’ve always been afraid of gardening.
But then I decided to grow a pear.
Sherlock Holmes was doing some gardening, Watson asked what he was planting. He replied “A lemon tree, my dear Watson”.
One bonsai tree grower was so successful he moved into a miniature house.
I asked the staff at my local garden center what to grow in my garden. They gave me some sage advice.
I started an insurance company for flower and gardening businesses...
It's called "oopsie daisies."
Schwarzenegger retired from TV to kill bugs. Now he’s an ex-terminator.
I beg your garden?
Winter does not arrive until the ice is in the compost heap. Spring does not arrive until the ice is out of the compost.
What do you call a book on underwater gardening?
A self-kelp book.
Why was the gardener so embarrassed? He wet his plants!
All clover the world.
Ow did the millionaire gardener get rich so quickly?
He was running a huge pansy scheme.
If only I could grow green stuff in my garden like I can in my refrigerator.
I got into a fight with a snail. It was a real slug-fest.
I want to start gardening, but I haven’t botany plants.
How do you know if you're a bad gardener?
All the rocks in your garden went belly up!
Cleaning my cold frame is a pane in the glass.
I’ll never leaf you.
Seed between the lines.
I’m very frond of you.
I used to make lots of money clearing leaves from gardens. I was raking it in.
I'm a gardener and I'm OK
I sleep all night and I plant all day!
I dress in grubby clothing and hang around with slugs.
Oh I'm happy in the garden
With dirt and plants and bugs.