If only I could grow green stuff in my garden like I can in my refrigerator.
I’m very frond of you.
Your good seed for the day.
When does a farmer dance? When he drops the beet.
Schwarzenegger retired from TV to kill bugs. Now he’s an ex-terminator.
Did you hear the gardener's joke about the old oak tree?
It's acorny one!
Any self-respecting rock will break at least one shovel before accepting its new home.
Ow did the millionaire gardener get rich so quickly?
He was running a huge pansy scheme.
All dressed up and nowhere to grow.
Why did the gardener think her plant was sick?
It was looking very green.
Long thyme no see.
All things must grass.
All dressed up and nowhere to grow.
Have you botany plants lately?
It’s party thyme.
We’re mint to be.
Let’s take a leaf of faith.
Let me plant one on ya!
Herb your enthusiasm.
I’m rooting for you!
Many gardeners suffer from hay fever. Isn’t that news a pollen?
My leaf blower doesn’t work. It just sucks!
Your good weed for the day.
I got a job working in a hayfield. After one day I bailed.
In the eyes of the lawn.
Why didn’t the flower get to go out on a second date?
He was a garden variety.
If a man is alone in the garden and speaks, and there is no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?
How to stop a dog from digging in a garden?
Start right! Never let the dog see you digging... Doggy see doggy do.
Why are shovels, trowels, and spades so common in down-to-earth novels and movies?
Because they're plot devices.
What kind of flowers bloom on your face? Tulips!
What’s a gardener’s favorite type of trousers? Ones with turnips.
I used to make lots of money clearing leaves from gardens. I was raking it in.
Garden centers are attempting to stem a fall in the sale of fresh flowers.
Why didn’t anyone laugh at the gardener’s jokes?
Because they were too corny!
What runs around a garden but never moves? A fence.
Do you need some encourage-mint?
What rock would you find inside a garden shed?
Shedimentary.
If you’re looking for a job, get trained in horticulture. It’s a growing industry.
I wasn’t all that interested in gardening, but I planted a few seeds, and it grew on me.
I had a job drilling holes for water. It was well boring.
Why do gardeners plant bulbs? So the worms can see where they’re going.
I started dating the girl across the street. Honestly, lawn-distance relationships aren’t that hard.
Seed between the lines.
Trowel and error.
What do you call an everyday potato? A commen-tater.
Leaf me alone.
That’s a bit mulch.
Our farm is haunted by chickens. You could say that we have a poultry-geist problem.
A woman asks her neighbor, "Can I borrow your lawnmower?"
Her neighbor says, "No, he's not home yet"
I asked the staff at my local garden center what to grow in my garden. They gave me some sage advice.
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