When doesn’t a bull have horns?
When it’s a bullfrog.
I'm taking indian cooking classes, because
I'm just so curryous about it.
The mom to the naughty vampire said to him, “Watch your battitude, that is not how you talk to your elders.”
So what did the Mother bee say to her misbehaving bee son.
Beehive!
When my daughter said she saw some chubby unicorns at the zoo, I couldn’t believe it. But it turns out it was just rhinos.
Did you hear about the 2 apes that kept fighting with each other?
It was gorilla warfare.
My favorite sport is bowling cause I always strike out with girls.
I use a crow to wake me up in the morning.
There’s caws for alarm.
What did the seal with a broken arm say to the shark?
"Do not consume if seal is broken."
That cola syrup is made by squeezing a kola nut.
That was soda pressing.
I’ve loved my vacation in France, but it’s time to Hugo.
How did the herpetologist know he would be married soon? He caught the garter snake.
How many ears do you think a Spock has? Three. A right ear, left ear, and a final front ear.
The doctor told me I shouldn’t eat alphabet soup.
I suffer from irritable vowel syndrome.
A lemon says to an orange, “What are you up to?”
The orange replies, “Not much. Just hanging ‘round.”
Where do vampires go to buy their art supplies? Pencilvania.
Pirates Private Property.
I told my mom there was a crack in her mug...
She said, ”No, only tea.”
I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
What is Dr. Frankenstein’s favorite part of a company?
Human resources.
What happened when the semi-colon broke grammar laws?
He was given two consecutive sentences.
The orange said to the melon, “You are one in a melon.” The melon replied, “You are so appealing.”
I know a guy who had both arms amputated from elbow to shoulder.
He is always serious and never humerus.
Who succeeded the Vikings?
The Z-kings
Rain doesn’t fall. Raindrops.
Whenever I’m in France I always start the day with a bowl of mushrooms...
Breakfast of champinions
The last thing my grandfather said before he died was “It’s worth it to spend money on good speakers.”
That was some sound advice.
What did parietal say to frontal?
"I lobe you."
What is a strawberry's favorite music band? Pearl Jam.
Why was the man with a beard in pain?
Because he had a must ache.
Why do bees stay in the hive during the winter?
Swarm.
What do you call a really cold, young werewolf?
A pupsicle.
What's the best part about the end of Halloween?
Putting the skeletons back in the closet!
How much dew does a dewdrop drop
If dewdrops do drop dew?
They do drop, they do
As do dewdrops drop
If dewdrops do drop dew.
What do red berries say during the season they love best? Cherry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
What is a zombie’s favorite shampoo?
Head & Shoulders.
How do you milk sheep ?
Release another iPhone.
The yearbook superlative that Robert Lee had given in his graduation was "Most likely to secede."
What do you call a woman with a frog on her head?
Lily.
What do you call someone with fruit in one ear and whipped cream in the other?
A trifle deaf.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights.
When does a brain get afraid?
When it loses its nerve.
Did you hear about the elf who was a little hard of hearing?
She had to keep saying "Sleigh, what?"
What do you call a kung-fu match between a married couple?
Marital Arts!
Someone told me I looked like a salt shaker. I took it as a condiment.
How does a lumberjack trim his beard?
With a chinsaw.
The huddle is real
What did the dolphin say to the blue whale?
“Cheer up!”
I think you’re incredi-bowl.
Why wasn't the archaeologist interested in girls?
Because he only dated mummies.
Go to BabaMail
