Why wouldn’t the Pharaoh let the Hebrews go?
He was in ‘de Nile.
When the little unicorn got bullied at school, he told his pop-corn so he could do something about it.
What was the skeleton doing at the hockey game?
Driving the zam-boney.
The only fruit that makes me feel fuzzy and warm is a peach.
What lives in apples and is an avid reader? A bookworm !
What do you call a row of zombies?
A deadline.
What do mountain climbers share around the campfire?
Goat Stories!
The guy missed both his serves on match point. I won by de-fault.
Why did the lights go out? Because they liked each other!”
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
What is a jack o lantern's favorite pick up line?
"Darling, you look GOURD-EOUS!!"
I was going to tell you a joke about an egg but it's not all it's cracked up to be.
I'm going to start a business selling worms and Nintendo consoles
I'll call it "Bait and Switch."
Why couldn’t the skeleton get out of bed?
He was bone tired.
I must say, my wife's cooking has really improved.
That was the best slice of soup I've ever had.
What do fruits look for at a talent show? A berry that can really cherry a tune.
What’s black and white and very noisy?
A panda with a set of drums.
What do llamas always say after yoga class?
“Llamaste.”
I went to see a beet poet the other day. There were lots of hip peas there.
I'm snow bored.
Somebody was doing a speech and said, "This might be corny," and pulled out a couple of canned corns. Guess what happened next?
Total pundemonium.
Got a couple of railway buffers going cheap. It was an end of line sale.
Did you hear what happened with the sourdough bread? It really rose to the occasion today.
I couldn't resist this flirty TV remote...
It was an instant turn on.
What game do some skiers like to play on the road trip to the slopes?
Ice Spy With My Little Ice.
What can you serve and never eat? A volleyball!
I found a side job collecting dog poo from people's yards.
It's not much, but business is picking up.
Dracula always read the best selling local newspaper because he heard that it had a good circulation.
What did the witch do when her broomstick broke?
She witch-hiked.
My brother was reading a book about a medieval castle that always had its drawbridge up. Unfortunately, he couldn't really get into the book!
I bought an old stereo.
My wife has her doubts, but I think it's a sound investment.
What did the pickle say when he was told he was going in to a salad?
I relish the thought.
Why can a leopard never hide for long? It’s always spotted
I woke up this morning and forgot which side the sun rises from, then it dawned on me.
Where were the first orange trees planted?
“In Orange County.”
Don’t come to France without any Monet.
Why did Santa send his daughter to college? To keep her off the North Pole.
I stopped for lunch at a German restaurant, but unfortunately got food poisoning. It really was the wurst.
What are the rules in zebra baseball?
Three stripes, and you're out.
I caught a fruit fly in the air and killed it.
I'm a gnatural born killer.
Why did the Math teacher get a divorce?
He substituted his wife for an ex.
We’re trying to pool off the party of the summer.
The artist successfully climbed the highest peak in the country. He attributed his success to the song, 'Paint No Mountain Higher!'
Why did the turtle cross the road?
To get to the Shell station.
Theatre costumes must be handled with care since they're often laced with something.
I'm Going to Host a Boat Race.
The winner will get pasta. It will be called the Penne Regatta.
What do Ghosts say when they are impressed? - That was spectre-cular!
Why are people in big cities in Spain always dry?
Because the rain in Spain falls mainly on the plain.
What do sophisticated fish drink? Salt-Tea.
Gobbling gargoyles gobbled gobbling goblins.
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