The snow leopard appeared just at the time our guide predicted it. It appeared white on time!
Fruit puns intended
Does he avacado? Because If not you should let that mango.
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.
Where do beavers keep their money? Well, they keep it in the riverbank.
How did the frog feel when he hurt his leg?
Unhoppy
What kind of horse does a ghost ride? A nightmare.
What did the energy company’s CEO credit her success to?
A series of strategic power moves.
What do you call juice with no ice in it?
Ju.
I whisper my sins to crows
So my parents can't hear me confess to a murder
I heard Frozen University is banning anyone who got the COVID vaccine from returning for the spring quarter
I guess if you get vaccinated you won’t be headed to the ICU.
I tried to visit the house where the guy who invented toothpaste was born.
Sadly, there was no plaque on it.
Why do skeletons hate the cold?
It sends chills up their spine.
What do you call a glass robot that is good at physics?
A new-clear physicist.
What did the mermaid wear to math class?
An algae-bra.
What type of dog would be the best at portraying Tina Turner?
An Angela Bassett Hound.
Why do vikings have barcodes on their ships?
Its so they can scan-de-navien
Why do you think is the moon bald? Because it has no ‘air.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
The story of the chicken and cow running away together sounds like a cock and bull story to me.
SpaceX is launching astronauts today with a new space catapult
Bringing forth a new era of crude spaceflight.
How do penguins make a decision?
Flipper coin.
Do you want to know what you get when you cross a newborn snake with a basketball? Really! Ooh you will end up with a bouncing baby boa.
Double bubble gum, bubbles double
Who was the most infamous terrorist in llama history?
Osama Bin Llama.
What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of lettuce?
Chicken sees a salad.
What did the lightning strike survivor say when interviewed?
"It was shockingly powerful. Like, it really Hertz"
What’s orange with bad hair and hears ‘boo’ a lot?
A haunted pumpkin with a wig.
I lost a cooking challenge once for not completing the dish.
I ran out of thyme.
One of my friends who hates crows, looked at a flock of crows, I saw murder in his eyes.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb? He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.”
Where do beavers go for a hair cut? To the bobber shop.
Q: Why are tigers religious?
A: Because they prey frequently, and prey as a family!
"There's a woman trapped under a motorway bridge in Italy."
"Genoa?"
"I'm not sure, I can't see her face."
What do Chinese bears eat for breakfast?
Panda-cakes!
“The North Pole doesn’t import goods because it’s Elf Sufficient.”
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
I know a man whose last name is Storm
He has three daughters: Summer, April, and Haley.
My parents always brought me up to believe the sky's the limit.
Which was a shame because I wanted to be an astronaut.
I used Brylcreem this morning to slick back my hair like my father used to do. My wife asked me what I was doing.
I said, "I'm having a dad hair day."
What powers an electric kettle?
Electrici-tea.
What is the difference between a panda and a polar bear?
About 1,000 miles.
Why was James Bond kicked out of a toilet?
Because it was not agent's toilet.
Did you hear about the mother goat telling jokes?
She’s a real kidder.
How can you tell where the Easter Bunny left his treasure
Eggs marks the spot.
Why are parrots so good at imitations? They love parrot-y! (parody)
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
What did the laser weapon say to the atom bomb?
"OK boomer."
What did the ponies do when it was raining? Stay ind-horse.
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