[Bundled Up Guy] This is what you call man coverage.
What is worse than when it is raining buckets?
Hailing taxis.
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
If you think the 45 degree ski slope is tough,
Wait until you try the 110 degree hot tub!
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Gnome! I can’t reach the doorbell!
The Secret Service surround the President with twelve cows because they were attempting to beef up their security.
What do you call a liquid kangaroo?
Marsoupial.
What do you get when you kiss a diseased bird?
Cherpies, but don't worry.
It's tweetable.
When doing laundry, the mother wolf accidentally fell into the washing machine. It became a wash and wearwolf.
What did the outraged female deer say to the mule?
How deer you!
What did the home owner say to the mug shot when he put it up on his wall
"You've been framed!"
My friend said that he eats more than his brother.
I was more concerned by the fact that he eats his brother.
Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?
Because he was always spotted.
How is Europe like a frying pan?
It has Greece at the bottom.
Fortune-teller was killed by a car bomb
Couldn’t foresee the C4.
What did the llama say to the grass?
“Nice gnawing you!”
So engineering school is really hard.
I'm not doing so hot in thermodynamics.
“Why did they ask the turkey to join the band? He had the drum sticks.”
Why was Frankenstein’s monster always being arrested?
He was so easy to charge.
What did the rainbow say to the other rainbow? Nothing, it was feeling blue.
Whenever I hear folksy stories about the hills, I can never get over them.
How do ponies react when the opposing team comes on the field?
They horse-boo.
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
Who does a dead pharaoh talk to?
His mummy.
"What's with that fruit taped to your mouth?" the doctor asked. "Covid-19 prevention," the patient replied.
"You need a bandana, not a banana!"
Thank you for helping me. Biscuit’s the yeast I could do.
What leads people to Rome?
The scents.
They want some aROMAtherapy.
What did the water in the fire truck say when it came to a sudden stop?
I'm baffled.
Changed my password to fortnight but apparently that's two week.
How come Crabs never share with their friends?
Because they're Shellfish.
What did the king say when he heard that the peasants were revolting? He said he agrees because they never bathe and always stink.
Not to brag, but I already have a date for Valentines Day.
February 14th.
What did the fruit lover say after he met a girl?
I’ve got a date
I had a dream that I was a mechanic who fixed wrecked cars.
It was an auto body experience.
Why didn't the artist replace his kitchen sink? Because he said that if it's not baroque, don't fix it.
Why did the vampire need mouthwash? Because he had bat breath.
In the eyes of the lawn.
What does a posh salad shout before it's eaten?
KELP!
I ordered won ton for my large family today.
2000 lbs of soup goes a long way.
Why did the koala bear eat so much eucalyptus? He simply couldn’t leaf it alone.
What do you call a sleeping pizza?
A piZZZZZZa.
Why shouldn't you kiss anyone on January 1st?
Because it's only the first date
Why did the zombie stop teaching?
He only had one pupil!
Why can’t people without feet have dairy products? They lactose.
"I just want some peach and quiet!," said the orange.
What did the duck say when the waitress came?
Put it on my bill.
How do fish go into business?
The start on a small scale.
Have you heard the one about the lemon cat?
It was a real sour puss.
Did you hear about the urologist who became an aerospace engineer?
He developed an incontinental ballistic missile.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows
Go to BabaMail
