How will you come to know when the moon will go broke? It would happen when moon is down to its last quarter.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
What do you call it when Satan steals your guacamole?
Playing Devil’s Avocado.
Why did the orange become juice?
It couldn't handle the pressure.
What did the father buffalo say to his son when he left to school ?
Bison.
During World War 2, sending food to the troops was a challenge. Researchers had to concentrate to figure out how to send orange juice.
I have to spill my guts, I love Halloween!
When indoor toilets were introduced in Britain, it was considered to be a revo-loo-tionary move.
What do llamas do when they eat outside together?
They have an alpacanic.
The retiring orchard gardener made a farewell peach that was really heart-warming.
Party Host: Would you like to try some mulled wine?
Party Guest: I'll have to think it over...
Shake your shamrocks.
What do you get when you cross a bee and a sheep?
A bah-humbug.
What do you call a single, solitary kernel of corn?
A unicorn!
What do you call someone who specializes in growing plants used in witches’ brews?
A hag-riculturist!
What’s a kangaroo’s favorite game?
Jump rope.
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
It replied, “No, thanks, I am traveling light.”
What do you call hot dogs in winter? Chilly dogs!
My peach friend shaved for the first time the other day, he looks like a nectarine!
I went to a Halloween party wearing a pie shell and carrying a shepherds crook.
"What on earth are you supposed to be?" "I'm a spy" "A spy?. What kinda of spy wears a pie costume and carries a crook?"
A shepherds spy.
I’m Dublin down on what I said before.
Do you know what Tinkerbell's tooshie is called?
A fairy tale.
hat did the pizza slicer say when he wanted to rob the pizza?
“Hand over the dough or I’ll cut you!”
I asked a train engineer how many times his train had derailed. He said, “I’m not sure, it’s hard to keep track.”
What would the Egyptian doctor tell to the wife of the Egyptian Pharaoh? He said that she was going to become a mummy.
Why did the slice of bread leave her boyfriend? She thought that he was just too knead-y.
Why didn't the conductor know what to do when he found that his train was missing?
He wasn't trained for this.
Why did the bat break up with her girlfriend?
She thought she was a pain in the neck.
Why did a baseball player decide to take a job at a used car lot during his off season?
He wanted to work on his sales pitch.
My keyboard is missing a key. I lost ctrl.
Everyday for lunch I like to eat two pears, and my dad knows this.
One day I saw him dropping two pears into a bunch of brown paper bags.
“What are you doing?” I asked him.
“Preparing.”
What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?
The centaur of attention.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak?
Mouse code!
Four types of weather were having a race. Sunny won gold, cloudy got silver, snowy picked up a bronze, and rainy won a precipitation award.
A never-ending natural supply of beer?
Hops springs eternal.
Two trucks – one carrying strawberries and one carrying sugar – crashed. Drivers didn’t stop, and now the jam is getting thicker.
What speech did Abraham Lincoln give when he went to Italy?
The Spaghetties-burg Address.
Why did the penguin cross the road?
It was the chicken’s day off.
Where do you find the nicest children in the world?
Germany. They're kinder.
What do get if you cross a duck and Santa? A Christmas Quacker.
What’s a golf clubs favorite type of music?
Swing.
Round the rough and rugged rock the ragged rascal rudely ran.
What do you call a mouse that doesn’t eat, drink, or even walk?
A computer mouse.
The mummy caught a really bad cold. He cannot stop coffin.
What kind of cheese do rodents like? Mousearella.
What washes up on tiny beaches? Microwaves.
How do bats spend their time?
Flying and hanging out.
What do you get if you cross a gnome and a tauren?
A mini-taur.
My father ran his whole roofing business and it was a great success.
He had to stay on top of things though.
Go to BabaMail
