My friends and I are starting a disco group.
We'll dress as a Viking, a Mongol, a Caribbean pirate, a Bedouin raider, and a Spanish conquistador.
We call ourselves: The Pillage People.
A con artist tried to convince me he could ejaculate deli meat
What a load of bologna.
Did you hear the story about a Golden Retriever who brought a ball back from miles away?
It was far-fetched.
In Ancient Greece, people who had beliefs contrary to the worship of Poseidon were executed for Heresea.
A man has found water while digging in his backyard. For many years, he used the water at home saving tons of money until one day, the water stopped flowing. So he dug a little bit further and found water again and used it for years until it also dried up. This time, he went further, brought a digging machine, and dug a deeper hole until he found water.
Neighbors, annoyed by the noise, called the local sheriff who arrives to check what was happening in the backyard. The sheriff discovering the scene in the backyard says:
"Well, well, well ... What have we got here?"
Mom: Why did you shave the peaches!
Dad: The recipe asked for nectarines.
A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff,
Ba-dum-tss
There’s a man in Florida with no arms or legs who is armed and on the run
Alligators ask lots of questions, they'd make great interri-gators.
What's the difference between Hanukkah and dragons?
One is eight nights while the other ate knights.
Why are skeletons so good at chopping down trees?
They're LUMBARjacks!
What’s an alligator’s favorite dip?
Croc-amole.
Why did the farmer feed money to his cow?
He wanted rich milk.
Where do dinosaurs get their mail ? At the dead-letter office!
What do you call Spider-Man at his full potential
Petest Parkest.
What did the water in the fire truck say when it came to a sudden stop?
I'm baffled.
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
I hired a landscape gardener today.
He couldn’t help me — my garden is a portrait.
I've started a new band called "Blanket'
We're a cover band
I was trying to reshape the border of my backyard when my neighbors' fence fell over...
Wrong post.
The man who survived pepper spray and mustard gas is now a seasoned veteran
Ah! The element of surprise.
What is the most favourite drink of a cow? Mountain Moo.
What’s the perfect gift for someone who is always raisin’ the bar? Oatmeal
raisin.
What's the difference between Cloepatra and King Arthur?
One had Camelot and one had a lot of camels.
Where do mummies go for a swim? To the Dead Sea.
What did the cook say after making stir fry at a playground?
"It was a wok in the park."
What do trees write on? Loose leaf paper.
Because it was so foggy at my father’s funeral, he was buried in the wrong plot.
It was a grave mist-stake.
My sister's laptop is so sassy and fun, it loves to play disc-o music.
Why did the pig kill the farmer? To save his own bacon.
What did one paint say to another when they got in an argument? Don't use that tone with me.
What do you can an owl who's been caught in the act?
A spotted owl.
What’s the difference between an alligator and a crocodile?
Alligators will see you later, crocodiles in a while.
If George Frederic Handel would be born in the modern era, his favorite song would be "Club Can't Even Handel Me."
What's a shark's favorite hobby?
Anything he can sink his teeth into.
What do strawberries wear to bed?
Jammies!
Did you hear about the ocean and sea having a baby?
It was a buoy!
Do you know how the pineapple feeds her children? She gives them milk from her pinenipples!
What happened when the zombie refused to pay its ticket from the police?
It was facing grave consequences.
What do you call a small mosque in Spain?
A mosquito!
What is a Ghost’s favourite film? Paranormal Activity.
A weeping camel is known as a humpback wail.
How old was the cave man on his birthday?
Stone Age.
Why couldn’t the equestrian find the carrots? They were down by the bay.
Why did the burglar break into the bakery? Because he heard the cakes were rich.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
What did the corn farmer give to his therapist?
An ear full.
What do France and a pigeon have in common?
Every 5 minutes, there is a coo.
What type of car would a regular horse buy?
A Fjord Focus.
Go to BabaMail
