What happened when they planted new bamboo trees at the zoo?
It was pandamonium out there!
What was the name of the knight who made the round table of Sir Arthur perfect? He was a knight called Sir Cle.
How do Medieval sheep protest prisons?
They storm the baaaastille.
What was the skeleton’s favorite Christmas candy?
Bone-bone.
How does a pineapple answer the phone? “Yel-low?”
The bread baker won the girl over because he kept giving her a flour. How sweet!
What do you call a cute donut?
A-dough-able.
What do you get when you cross a fawn with a bumblebee?
Bambee.
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
Why was the gardener so embarrassed? He wet his plants!
What do squirrels watch on TV?
Nut-flix.
Who in the hell names their son “Tiger” ?
Only people in the Woods’
Grandpa died because we couldn’t figure out his blood type.
At least he told us to be positive.
What’s the self-care mantra of elves after the holiday season ends?
“Treat yo’elf.”
I just found out my Husband is a Ghost. I realised the moment he walked through the door.
Q: Why did the fruit finish her homework so quickly?
A: Because the homework was a peach of cake.
Why was the crow so angry after his stand up comedy gig? The venue paid him in coffee instead of caw fee.
What do you call a small Minotaur?
A Minitaur.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
"You can't skele-run from my skele-puns."
Did you hear about the geologist who got divorced?
He was taking his wife for granite, so she left him.
What kind of man was Boaz before he married?
Ruthless.
Why did the parrot cross the road? Just beak-ause!
What do you call a woman with one leg?
ILENE.
There’s so much to do here so I’m never Bordeaux-ed.
Q: Why do windmills love loud, heavy rock music?
A: They’re metal fans.
Chuck berry was undoubtedly the greatest rock and roll strawberry.
Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.
How does a horse make paper mâché?
With newspaper clip-clop-pings.
Why’s it always hot after a football game?
All the fans left.
What would a potato say to a peach? – “You have a nice pit!”
I've just been sacked from my job as a prophet..
I didn't see that coming.
Why did one camel spit and stomp when the other camel stole its cheese?
Because they’re “dramadairies”
What do you call a cow who’s just given birth?
De-calf-inated!
You make me hap-pea, we're like two peas in a pod.
What is a bunny’s motto? Don’t be mad, be hoppy!
I went to Taco Bell and order nacho fries
the person behind the counter wouldn't give them to me, just kept saying "nacho fries".
Are you a 90 degree angle? Because this feels just right.
Where do crabs invest their money?
A sea bank.
It's a-boat time we took a vacation!
The snow leopard appeared just at the time our guide predicted it. It appeared white on time!
When the librarian bumped her head, she had no one to blame but her shelf.
I was talking to this guy about how I hate geometry. You know what he said to me.
You just have to look at it from a different angle.
Q: Why did the purple family have to move out?
A: They were plum too loud, excessively violet with one another, and were fuschiatives of the law.
As the incessant rain washed away the blue paint of the house, the owner sighed and said, "Cyanara!"
Saw Humpty Dumpty shopping for Halloween supplies.
He's going to have a great fall.
Why do prisoners have PTSD? Cell Shock.
A man has been arrested in South Africa for shooting a giant chess set
What's wrong with those big game hunters?!
What is the best way to communicate with a fish?
Drop it a line!
"For peep's sake."
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