"You make me egg-static."
What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, and 12 claws on each foot? Sir.
What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, 12 claws on each foot and a personal stereo over his ears? Anything you like, he won't hear you!
Two astronauts who were dating, met up for a launch date.
I don’t believe in boats
I have yacht to see one.
Many people have a mythical belief about soup. It is called soup–erstition.
Pig always have ink all over their faces because they live in a pen.
The crow decided to dress up as Corvid-19 virus for the Halloween costume party.
My friend bought a different toothpaste this time...
It was a nice change of paste.
What do you call a dog that comes back from the dead?
A zom-beagle.
If your doctor tells you to go on a low sodium diet, do you take his advise with a grain of salt?
What is a deer’s favorite meal of the day?
“Deer-ner.”
How do the New England Patriots eat their soup? In a Super Bowl.
Why do action potentials make good volleyball players?
They are always spiking.
My dog wants to be a tradesman.
I think he wants to be a woof-er.
How did brave Ancient Egyptians write?
With hero-glyphics.
What do you call someone who specializes in growing plants used in witches’ brews?
A hag-riculturist!
What’s so great about whiteboards?
If you think about it, they’re pretty re-markable!
What’s the first thing a gorilla learns in school? The ape b c’s.
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
What's the only tea an Englishman can't stand?
Humidity.
How does a horse get a suit fitted?
With a tail-or.
Why did the skunk cross the road?
To get to the odor side.
Why did the orange go to the doctor? He wasn’t peeling well.
Why did the cow go to space?
to get ice cream.
What did the ice-cream say to the unhappy birthday cake?
“What’s eating you?”
What do you call a tariff on skin?
A tax-a-dermis!
Cutting my arms was the best descision I've ever made
Hands down.
Did you hear about the skeleton that was almost picked apart by a group of wild dogs?
He marrowly escaped.
What is it called when a tree has back problems?
ScoliOAKsis
What do you call unwanted revealing comments about a movie?
Spoilers.
Why did the sailor throw a penny into the whale’s mouth?
The sailor thought he was was a wishing whale!
I had a nightmare about being attacked by a shark.
When I woke up I realized it was just a bream.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
Q: What’s red and goes up and down, up and down?
A: A cherry in a lift.
What do you call it when a skeleton is having a great time?
An osteoblast.
Don't get tide down.
The artist successfully climbed the highest peak in the country. He attributed his success to the song, 'Paint No Mountain Higher!'
Fine Wine Pick-Up Line: Hey babe, what are you doing this fall? 'Cause I'd like to make you part of the season's harvest.
I wrote a song to memorialize the man killed when a piano fell down a mine shaft.
It's in A flat minor.
Snow on and snow forth.
Did you hear about the cheese lover who took his girlfriend for granted?
How dairy.
Why did the brain go into a group of trees to sleep?
For rest. (forest)
Whale, whale, whale …
If it isn’t a pod.
In which battle did the soldiers form a queue outside a metal box?
The battle of Portaloo.
Did you hear about the couple that split up over coffee?
The lawyer said there were grounds for divorce.
Where are dead computer hackers buried?
In decrypt.
If you’re looking for a job, get trained in horticulture. It’s a growing industry.
Why did the ski instructor's love life always go downhill? The first thing the ladies noticed about him was his giant slalom.
What would you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers!
My wife wants to start selling kitchenware online.
I just don't see it panning out.
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