Love at frost sight!
Vegans really have a beef with meat.
If snowmen can’t ride bicycles, tricycles, or unicycles, what can they ride?
Icicles!
A cowboy thought he had 100 cows but when he counted them there were only 97
So he rounded them up.
What is the Easter Bunny's favorite drinking game?
Hop Scotch.
What would you call a familiar scent?
Nose-talgic.
Checked into a hotel and was offered the black & white or the rainbow room. I chose the rainbow one as I like a room with a hue.
While walking down the plains of the river, I lost my footing and got hit on my head. Now my head is swimming.
What do you call a yeti with a sixpack?
The abdominable snowman.
What do runners do when they forget something?
They jog their memory!
If you missed essential tomato cooking class
You can’t ketchup.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
IT’S A LIEEEEE!!
What do you call monkeys who share an Amazon account?
Prime mates.
My cell phone got drunk.
It took too many screenshots.
What do you call an elf that joins the 11 other elves in Santa’s workshop?
The twelf!
Why won't the dog listen to the farmer's sheep jokes?
He's herd them all.
Q: Why did the cherry stop in the middle of the road?
A: It ran out of juice.
What should you do with an old inventory of fine French wine?
Liquidate it to the highest bidder.
Why can’t I ever win a game returning serve? Give me a break.
What kind of vehicle does Bigfoot drive?
A big toe-truck.
Dracula had to move out of his medieval castle for a couple of weeks because it was getting re-vamp-ed!
What do you get if you cross a pumpkin with a bigfoot?
A Sasquash.
I applied to be a sperm donor recently and the nurse asked me if I could masturbate in the cup.
I told her I’ve done it a few times before but I don’t know if I’m ready to compete in a tournament.
Where do you find giant snails? At the end of giants fingers!
I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods.
It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
Hey baby, are you a cloud server?
Because I have something to upload from my hard drive.
What does a couch say to another couch at the other side of the room?
We are sofa apart!
What did the nectarine say after the church service? The peacher gave a great sermon!
Inviting cherries over for a drinks party is easy. Simply start your invitation with “You are cordially invited…”
I have no idea how to raise chickens.
I think I’ll just wing it.
I just wanted to make a good frost impression.
I was waiting at the hotel's lobby when the WiFi was disconnecting from time to time.
I really hated that reception.
He threw three free throws.
Heard about the beaver who can split huge logs with his eyes? Yes, he just saw the logs, and they broke into two.
Where do elves go to get famous?
Holly-wood.
Flamingo parents are really cute with their babies. You should see them playing Beak a Boo.
What do you call a wasp who is having a bad hair day?
A frizz-bee
What do you call a buffet for sheep?
All you can bleat!
Did you hear about the man who drowned in a bowl of muesli?
He was dragged down by a currant..
I like big punts and I cannot lie
The classiest indoor tennis facilities serve bubble tea.
Why did the peach think he was a pear for a while? He was feeling awfully green at first, but eventually his face became red.
We just bought our new dream house. As I was showing our daughter around for the first time, she asked excitedly, "What's upstairs?" I chuckled and replied, "Sweetie,"
"Stairs don't talk!"
Why did the Vikings sail to England in longboats?
It was too far to swim!
What kind of girl does a mummy take on a date?
Any old girl he can dig up!
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
The girlfriend said she had to go file her nail because it was bothering her.
I asked, "Would that go under N for nail? Or M for Manicure?"
Which LA King was the total package? Parcel Dionne.
How do you call clothings for spoons?
Silverwear
“Watch out! The road curves ahead” cried the skeleton.
“It’s spine“ replied the driver.
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