What has 100 teeth and eats wieners? A zipper!
What happens to a nervous nut?
It cracks.
If a goat grows a beard, is it a goatee?
What do you call a turtle who takes up photography?
A snapping turtle.
What do you call two spine bones that are friends?
Vertebros.
Which Star Wars movie is a baseball player's least favorite?
The Umpire Strikes Back.
How do you make cheese even better?
You use a cheese grater of course!
What does a brain do when it sees a friend across the street?
Gives a brain wave.
I won an argument about weather forecasting accuracy. My fellow debater's logic was cloudy. After his defeat, he was fuming and he stormed out of the room.
what do you call it when a lady mammal that enjoys swimming a lot, who has an unattractive twin sister, fires a gun at one of her gym buddies who also happens to work with clay as their profession?
hotter water otter daughter shot her potter spotter
Today, my pastor started talking to the drum set during his sermon.
Boy did I appreciate the cymbal-ism
What made the dinosaur's car stop ? A flat Tire-annosaurus!
What did the pastry chef say to his unsupportive father?
“Donut hole me back.”
Whichever gator stole all the food, we'll catch the crook-a-dile.
Q: What do you call a scary berry?
A: A boo-berry.
What do you call an alligator showing off his spine flexibility on the internet?
E-Reptile Disc Function
What time does the Wicked Witch have her clocks set to?
Greenwitch Mean Time.
A baseball walks into a bar. The bartender throws him out.
Q. Which game do hunters go after first?
A. The nearest and the deerest.
What is a dog’s favorite movie series?
Fifty shades of Greyhound.
What is Jehovah's witness' favorite band? The Doors.
Why did the volleyball player join the marines? To serve our country.
If you’re looking for a job, get trained in horticulture. It’s a growing industry.
I accidentally sprayed deodorant in my mouth.
Now when I talk I have a weird axe scent.
The goal nine yards
What do you call a Viking who is really good at basketball?
a Vallhalla Balla.
Why is the baby strawberry crying?
Because its parents are jamming
Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?
The witches sweep the sky.
This morning, my dad told me something that gave me the chills.
He said, “I’m turning off the heating.”
I once tried crossing a flamingo with a cement mixer. Sounds crazy, but I really wanted a good brick layer.
A soda company printed Michael Jackson on all of their cans
He really is the king of pop
One day, a young weasel went to the bar. The bartender took one look at him and says, “You are under-aged. I can’t serve you beer.” The weasel asks, “What can I have?”
The bartender replies, “I have bottled water, juice, energy drinks, and pop.”
“Pop!” goes the weasel.
What kind of key has no lock?
A turkey.
Why didn’t the golfer get his homework done?
He wouldn’t stop puttering around.
Avoid pier pressure.
Why are fish so smart?
They are always in schools!
How do you know if it's too hot in the chicken barn?
The chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
I read a story about pig anatomy.
It was all straightforward until I found a twist in the tale.
Why is spring a great time to start a gardening business?
Because it’s the season when you can really rake in the cash.
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
Chardon-neigh.
Next time you’re feeling down, just remember: your plants are rooting for you. Literally!
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
The river fish went to the library and asked if he can get a book. The librarian said: "You can start by-rowing it."
I had a job drilling holes for water. It was well boring.
Big Foot has been spotted throwing tantrums and talking back to his parents.
No wonder they call him the Sassquatch.
I really like corn, but I can't find it because this time of year it's never in stalk
What do you get when you cross a computer with an elephant? Lots of memory!
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
I used to live in in Aragon, in Spain.
Then I left.
I'm Aragone.
Started reading a book called “The Pirate’s Wrist”
I’m hooked.
Go to BabaMail
