After all is sled and done.
How were these puns about puns?
They were pun-questionably pun-fortunate!
Why did the dairy farmer go on a diet? She wanted to cheddar a few pounds!
I hit a crow in my truck one day, and it flew into the next lane and landed on a police car. I was ticketed for flipping the officer the bird.
I have six eyes, two mouths and three ears, what am I?
Ugly.
Wife told me that our juicer draws a lot of power.
I explained to her that it takes lot of juice to juice the juicer.
A friend of mine quit his job as a reporter and left town by railway. It was an ex-press train.
What did the storm drain say when it learnt it'd be getting a new cover?
That's just grate.
Some people think prison is one word… but to criminals it’s the whole sentence.
I wish that I could be the coronary artery of my wife so that I would be wrapped around her heart.
I can’t remember who it’s by, but you could have “It Started With A Hershey’s Kiss”.
Double bubble gum, bubbles double
Q. Will a sensible stag do something dangerous to impress a doe?
A. No, not even on a deer.
What do you get when you throw a hand grenade into a French bathroom?
Linoleum Blownapart.
Why didn't the mexican archer fire his bow?
Because he didn't habanero.
Where do you store peach juice? Inside of a peach-er.
Two kittens on a sloped roof.
Which one slides off first?
The one with the lowest mew.
I dare you to lie that you didn’t find all these space puns hilarious. Th
I always remember to eat my soup with a spoon.
It’s un-fork-edible.
Which hand should we use to stir the soup? It is better to stir the soup with a spoon!
What did the nectarine boxer say to his opponent? "You want a peach of me?"
What do you call it when cows do battle in outer space?
Steer Wars.
Why did the kraken eat 5 ships that were carrying potatoes?
Because nobody can eat just one potato ship.
Why did the frog make so many mistakes?
It jumped to the wrong conclusions.
If you’re looking for Valentine’s Day inspiration for a meat loving crush, try “Will you beef my Valentine?”
My love for you simply radiates.
Why does Mr. Potato Head have a mobile?
In case Mr. Onion rings.
I'm fondue you, it's true
A group of crows drooling over a pastry is called a-tempted murder.
What do mummies like listening to on Halloween? Wrap music!
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
Six sleek swans swam swiftly southwards.
What do we call a chicken inside a hot tub? – It is called soup.
I went to a theater performance done on a bunch of dictionaries the other day...
It was a play on words.
What did the rainwater say as it ran off the road.
Grate.
How do werewolves stop a video?
They press the paws button.
Prague is my number one choice for a dream destination...
Dying to Czech it out
If a painter ever feels stressed or troubled, they take a vacation to the hills. It will easel their mind!
Wondering what crows prefer with soup, crows like crowtons in their soup.
I told my wife to embrace her mistakes
So she gave me a hug!!!
Two tiny timid toads trying to trot to Tarrytown.
What do you call a row of 5 tow trucks?
A foot.
Nobody wants to sit next to the watermelon in the class because it has a strange smelon.
Your good weed for the day.
What do you call a skeleton snake?
A rattler.
My dad has the heart of a lion...
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
Hap-pea-ness is when you and your friend are like two peas in a pod.
Patient: ‘Doctor, I’ve swallowed a spoon.’
Doctor: ‘Sit down and don’t stir.’
If two witches were watching two watches: which witch would watch which watch?
Why are Scandinavians the fastest runners in the world?
Because they start out near the Finnish line.
Go to BabaMail
