Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
What kind of car does an otter drive? A Furrari.
I just got back from Dubai where I was offered 40 camels for my wife.
I usually smoke Marlboro but hey... a deal's a deal.
You didn't hear the joke about cell phones?
Probably because it had a bad reception.
When you go with an army general onto a bowling alley, he will start bowling even before you enter his name on the scoreboard.
How did the mummy defeat Superman? He had Cryptonite.
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
Sitting near the fireplace is just like a whole bunch of bees...
'swarm
What is the camels’ favorite nursery rhyme?
Humpty dumpty.
Have you seen my lobster?
I'm worried he might by a lost claws.
What are the strongest days of the week? Saturday and Sunday, the rest are weekdays.
Well, you have to hand it to relay runners, don't you?
Why can't the bankrupt Hindu complain? He's got no beef.
What did the bear say when he got a joke? He just bear-ly had a chuckle!
Q: What kind of desserts does a turkey like?
A: Peach gobbler.
Q: What does a tiger call an antelope?
A: Fast food.
What do you call a militia of pigeons?
A coo.
I tried my hand at cinematography, but it didn't really pan out.
What falls all the time and never gets hurt? Rain.
Why couldn't the pirate play cards?
Because he was sitting on the deck.
The interesting the about engineering Toilet Paper.
It's an a-ply-ed science.
Snow thank you.
New Year's resolution for the bankrupt gardener was to forget the past and rely on the fuchsia...
I bought this strange novelty baking pan shaped like Camelot.
I think I'll break it in by making a castlerole.
When did the dentist develop tooth pain?
Tooth-hurty!
What did the rabbit say to the lettuce?
Romaine calm, I’m here for the carrots.
What is a cheese’s favorite kind of philosophy?
Epistemology and fetaphysics.
Long thyme no see.
Why couldn’t the cheese sleep?
He was scared there was a munster under the bed.
What is the shortest month of the year?
M-A-Y.
I’m zesting a lemon for a recipe right now
It’s really appealing
What do you call a pastor who wanders from town to town, looking for leafy green vegetables?
A romaine Catholic priest.
It’s been a few years since the invisible man married the invisible woman.
Their kids are nothing to look at.
I just lost a key on my keyboard
Now its all out of control.
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.
What does a duck that’s made of avocado say?
Guac.
Egg puns are the most egg-citing.
How do you know when guacamole has gone bad?
When it turns guaca-moldy.
Why do prisoners have PTSD? Cell Shock.
Sun to Earth, on the night of 31st December:
"Let's have another round, shall we?"
What’s a horse’s favorite dance move?
Watch me whip, now watch me neigh neigh.
What did the father ant said to his son when they moved to france from america?
"Son, we are now Europeants!"
What did one slice of bread say to the other before the race?
You’re toast!
When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?
When it's muggy.
What happens when a neurotransmitter falls in love with a receptor?
You get a binding relationship.
Women should not have children after 34.
Really, 34 children are enough.
What’s the most supportive beer?
Root beer.
On which website will you learn about the hidden gossips and secrets of the onion world? On the website Wiki-Leeks.
What is the dish that likes using the light switch?
StrogONOFF
The brain is an amazing organ
it really makes you think.
Go to BabaMail
