Why are elephants scared of computers?
Because of the mouse.
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!
Why did the corn farmer go to jail?
He was stalking someone in a field.
Did you hear about the man chopping an onion with the Grim Reaper?
He was dicing with death
What do mosquitoes and relatives have in common?
They both share your blood.
What do you call a lazy goat?
Billy Idle.
I really hate rock puns.
My sediments exactly.
What is a cat’s favorite game to play with a mouse? Catch!
Teacher: What are the seasons? Student: Salt, pepper, ginger...
Dad, are we pyromaniacs?
Yes, we arson.
An orange and an apple signed up for a tournament. No one was surprised to find out they were both seeded.
Right, I'm off to grow some facial hair above my top lip...
Must dash.
What do you call a witch that lives in the desert?
A sand-witch.
Tomorrow the planet will be one year older..
Happy bEarthday!
What did the salt say after it was pepper-sprayed?
That's nothing to sneeze at.
I had fresh coconut the last time I went to Hawaii. It’s a tough nut to crack.
Lance is an uncommon name nowadays but in medieval times...
people were called Lance a lot.
Why couldn't the Bard seduce the Gelatinous Cube?
Because cubes are platonic solids.
A security guard at an airport informs the pilot of a man trying to sneak contraband onto an airplane.
The pilot responds, "That's not going to fly."
I saw a guy trying to cross a really busy street. Trying to be helpful, I said, “You know, there is a zebra crossing 50ft ahead.”
He said, “I hope he’s having a better luck than I am.”
What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It’s Christmas, Eve!
Irish you luck.
I used to be pretty nifty tap dancer...
Until I fell into the sink.
Why do wookies love chocolate chip cookies? Because they are chewy.
Violinist Caught following a String of Robberies.
What do skeletons say when they set off to sea?
- Bone voyage!
When should astronauts retire?
When they start spacing out.
Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
Pete's pa pete poked to the pea patch to pick a peck of peas for the poor pink pig in the pine hole pig-pen.
Dark-colored huskies found in Colorado can also be termed as dusky huskies!
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were Prime mates!
What do you get when you cross a lion with a parrot?
I don't know, but when it talks, you better listen.
I can heartly wait to see you.
Why can’t I ever win a game returning serve? Give me a break.
I gave my heart to a girl from Great Britain.
She turns around and Brexit into a million pieces.
Which bus went from Spain to America?
Columbus.
What is a monkey's favorite cookie? Chocolate chimp!
How do you write a book about bats? With a ghostwriter.
I lost my cat in a snowstorm!
But he should be fine because he's a cool cat.
Why is grass so dangerous? Because it is full of blades!
The recipe said, “set the oven to 180 degrees”...
Now I can’t open the door because it faces the wall.
What did the heart say to the brain before an exam?
You look nervous.
Dogs can't see your bones.
But catscan.
I like telling fart jokes.
They are tough to hold in.
A beaver told a joke about a waterfall. It was a pour joke.
How does the spinal cord hammer a nail into a wall?
With a series of spinal taps.
I saw a really cool kangaroo the other day
It had a hip hop
My son asked me if we were related to any Egyptian Pharaohs.
I told him, unfortunately son we do not even have so much as a toot in common.
On the Ark, Noah probably got milk from the cows. What did he get from the ducks?
Quackers
The only things wolves have that no other animal on the face of the earth has are wolf cubs.
Go to BabaMail
