What did the light bulb say to the electric generator? ‘You spark up my life!”
How do you throw a space party? You planet.
How did the cardiologist figure out what she wanted to do with her life?
She just followed her heart.
How do you make a million dollars in real estate?
You start out with two million.
THE KRAKEN: Yes, I'd like to renew my lease, please.
LANDLORD: Re-lease the Kraken!
Tigers are like army soldiers. They both grow up to earn some stripes.
Why are bananas never lonely?
Because they hang around in bunches.
When ghosts visit the seaside, they always get an i-scream.
Why do eggs hate jokes? Because they could crack up.
The crowd had filled up the venue and everyone was waiting for the bowling alley to open. Finally, they got the ball rolling.
Tried acting in a theatre full of farmers. Got mooed off stage.
How do you split the ocean in half?
With a sea-saw.
My friend, who's a geneticist and a rapper crossed a gorilla with an orang utan
That's his new mixed ape.
What is a ghost peppers favorite Leonardo Dicaprio film? Catch me if you Cayenne.
Why can't mermaids use the letters A or B?
They only know what's below C level.
What do you get if you cross a bat with a ball?
A home run.
After a good summer fling, it’s time to fall in love.
Have you seen the gators on skateboards, they are great alli-skaters.
Are any of the Halloween Monsters good at math?
Only if you Count Dracula.
Did you hear about the train that dressed up for Halloween?
It became a fright train.
The only difference between time and a ball hog is that the former passes.
What is a snowman’s favorite type of burger? A chilli cheese burger with iceberg lettuce.
What do you call a dinosaur that eats fireworks? A dino-mite
As the incessant rain washed away the blue paint of the house, the owner sighed and said, "Cyanara!"
Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?
Because he was always spotted.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
I started making lamps in the shape of the alphabet.
After the first three, it was a D-light.
One day I saw a squirrel burying lotto tickets under a large bush, so I asked him what he was doing.
He told me he was hedging his bets.
Why couldn’t the string quartet find their composer?
He was Haydn.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
What do you call an ant from overseas?
Import-ant.
What do you get when you cross a ghost with a chicken?
A poultry-geist.
It’s lonely between Germany and Spain
Not many France, nobody’s Nice to me, everyone seems to be Lyon. It’s just Eiffel.
What do you call it when a monster gets mad?
Ogre-reacting!
4G, or not 4G, that is the question.
Why did the pineapple’s phone die? It needed juice.
Who invented the Round Table?
Sir Cumference.
A man entered his house and was absolutely delighted when he discovered someone had stolen every lamp in his house.
Having a ball
French guy goes into a bar with a frog on his head
The bartender asks “where’d you get that?” And the frog says “in France. There’s loads of them.”
People really liked the new king's coronation day peach. He truly deserves the throne.
Did you hear the results of the game between the beach and the ocean?
It's tide.
What did the pigeon say after being struck by lightning?
Not coo.
We were mermaid for each other.
I'm currently dating a famous soccer player. He's so loving and caring towards me.
He's a keeper.
I recently went to a soft fruit party, where all the food was berry based. It was cherrific.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
A burglar stole all my lamps.
I should be upset, but I’m delighted
What do you call a pig squished by sand? A ham sandwich.
Your good seed for the day.
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