It’s really annoying being stuck behind a flamingo in a car. They literally never put their foot down.
My landlord said we need to talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied: “Sure, my door is always open.”
Werewolf Weather Furcast: Tomorrow we expect heavy showers.
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A candy baa.
What do you call a group of men waiting for a haircut? A barbercue.
Egyptians claimed to have invented the guitar,
But they were such lyres.
What do you call a murder where the perp runs away on a bicycle?
A drive bike shooting
Once upon a time, a knight hosted a live improvisational comedy show for everyone in town. It was known as 'Saturday Knight Live'.
Get clover it, babe.
I heard the King of spain caught Covid...
Heard he tested positive while on his plane going somewhere, now he has to quarantine there.
So the Reign in Spain remains solely on the Plane.
Did you hear about the artist that has been drawing very small, colorful noodles?
He drew an itsy, bitsy, teeny-weeny, yellow, polka dot linguini.
How much fur can you get from a dinosaur ? As fur as you can get!
Have you heard of the story about the campanologist without arms?
Doesn't ring a bell.
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Let's go for a spin!
How does a cheese tell you they want to be with you?
“I think you and I would look gouda together.”
Did you guys see the cow with facial hair?
It has a moo-stache.
I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
Our backstage manager is leaving at the end of the year. He has been an outstanding member of our theatre team.
Props to him.
Why did the bunny build herself a new house? She was fed up with the hole thing!
I’ve got a urinal that just won’t get serious...
It’s always taking the piss.
Some local engineers took a train for a service, but the vicar said it was blocking the aisle.
Saw my dad outside with a tv antenna on his head
When I asked him why, he said he was trying to get more in tune with nature.
What did the mathematician do at the baseball game?
Square root for the home team.
If you understand, say "understand".
If you don't understand, say "don't understand".
But if you understand and say "don't understand".
how do I understand that you understand. Understand!?
What’s the best tool to install an electrical plug with?
A socket wrench.
It's Taco Night, so on my way home, I grabbed a bag of shredded cheese at the store, queso we needed some more.
.
I tried to catch the fog.
But I mist.
What happened when the cargo ship full of books sank?
It caused a title wave!
I yam always very happy to eat sweet potatoes.
Autumn is full of pumpkins, it is a gourd-geous time of the year.
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. There is no time.”
A strawberry usually needs batteries when it runs out of juice.
What would you call two banana skins? A pair of slippers!
"You crack me up."
A pirate I know likes clothes made by an Italian fashion giant...
He dresses in Argh-mani suits.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
Because it takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
Finally, the soccer ball decided to quit the team. The reason behind its move was that it was tied of being kicked around.
Did you hear about the banana who went to the doctor's because he wasn't peeling very well?
My friend claims he works in a soap factory, adding a key ingredient to the process...
He's a lye-er.
What do Penguins like to eat?
Brrrrrrrritos.
Mom: Did you watch the movie with the little pumpkins?
Dad: I stopped it early because it was too gourdy for me.
What do you say when you find the perfect font?
You’re just my type!
I just told my family a pun about bees.
It was so good that everyone gave me hive fives.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
What does a mummy use when he needs to hide? Masking tape.
The bartender asks one of The Beach Boys what they’d like, so he looks back to his friends
“Get a round?” “Round?” “Round?” “I’ll get a round!”
Some guy asked dad for the WiFi code.
Shrugging his shoulders and giving a sympathetic look, he responded: I can't figure her out either.
What’s the difference between a Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has Noel.
How much wood could Chuck Woods' woodchuck chuck, if Chuck Woods' woodchuck could and would chuck wood? If Chuck Woods' woodchuck could and would chuck wood, how much wood could and would Chuck Woods' woodchuck chuck? Chuck Woods' woodchuck would chuck, he would, as much as he could, and chuck as much wood as any woodchuck would, if a woodchuck could and would chuck wood.
Go to BabaMail
