There was a minimum of cinnamon in the aluminium pan.
What do you call a sleeping werewolf?
An unaware-wolf.
Scientists have found that the center of Jupiter… has the letter i.
Baby seal walks into a club...
Years later he would sing A kiss from a rose in the same club.
I prefer the new system to reviewing line calls. When Hawk-eye came around, I breathed a big Cy-clops of relief.
If two witches were watching two watches: which witch would watch which watch?
An apple and an orange signed up for a tournament. No one was really surprised when they had both were seeded.
Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.
Many years ago, my grandfather used to cut the grass- but, he's been gone for a lawn time.
Why did Samson try to avoid arguing with Delilah?
He didn’t want to split hairs.
I think you're mer-mazing.
What are the favorite video games for basketball players? Shooting stars.
Nut cookies are the best gifts for nutty friends.
How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
The old and wise onion had once told me that life is similar to onions. Whenever we peel off our protective layers, we end up crying.
Why can’t your ear be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot.
What Christmas carol do they sing in the desert? O' Camel ye faithful.
My sinks been on deaths door for the past week or so...
I finally decided to pull the plug.
What do you call a boat full of polite football players?
A good sportsman ship.
What’s the worst thing about broken elevator puns? They’re not very uplifting.
I told my parents I wanted to raise goats for a living, but I was only kidding.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his mother was a wafer so long! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?
My wife was just recently diagnosed with colorectal cancer and now has surgery scheduled to remove a couple of inches of her colon. I expect her grammar will improve as a result.
Because she's going to have to learn how to use a semicolon.
She saw Sherif's shoes on the sofa. But was she so sure she saw Sherif's shoes on the sofa?
How do you call a straw used for drinking orangeade?
Fantastick.
What is the warmest period in the history of the world's climate called?
Climax.
I deleted all my German friends from my cell phone contact list.
Now I'm Hanns free.
How do you stop an Internet troll?
Seize their memes of production.
The best place for a ghost to go on holiday is The Dead Sea.
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy? A power play.”
Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend.
You never realize how time flies when you are not wearing a watch on a plane.
Why is a Tornado the best type of football player?
Because it always gets touchdowns.
A truck carrying thesauruses crashed on a motorway near my house. All the onlookers were startled, shocked, amazed, speechless and dumbfounded.
Did you hear about the guy who got fired from the Keyboard Factory?
He didn't put enough shifts in.
Toilet paper plays an important roll in my life, it would be pretty sh**ty without it.
What holds the moon up?
Moonbeams!
What do you call bananas who are friends with monkeys? A bunch of idiots.
What makes more noise than a dog barking outside your window?
Two dogs barking outside your window.
Invest in grills!
They're hot steakholders!
Q: How does an artist fill in a CV?
A: He draws on experience.
What did the patient say after that gave blood?
I feel drained.
One should never mix oranges in apple juice. Well, perhaps you may do it once in a blue moon.
It’s lonely between Germany and Spain
Not many France, nobody’s Nice to me, everyone seems to be Lyon. It’s just Eiffel.
Do You Know How Crabs Get Around On Land?
They Use The Sidewalk!
You should dress up warm in the Andes. That place is Chile.
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
When you’re smooching with your honey, and your nose is kinda runny, you may think it’s kinda funny, but it snot.
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