Something is Wrong With My Bicycle,
it doesn't Go Straight.
This is one spray-cation to remember.
Not everyone looks good with a wig
But I think you could really pull it off.
Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.
Where do bats like to relax?
In the bat-tub.
Why do birds fly south in the fall?
Because it’s too far to walk.
I use a crow to wake me up in the morning.
There’s caws for alarm.
I heard the history teacher got into a fight with the math teacher
He did a real good number in him.
What do you call a lineup of food with lots of garlicky dishes?
Buffet the Vampire Slayer!
Did you hear about the cloud who became king? He rained for years.
Invest in grills!
They're hot steakholders!
A fruit was madly in love, it was peachy–keen.
My wife was scratching the glass jar with a metal spoon...
It was jarring!!!
The artist shouldn't have taken that sculpture for granite, now it's stone-cold.
How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman?
By his net income.
What does a penguin where to the beach?
An ice cap.
What do ghouls say to each other before heading out for Halloween?
May the ghouls be with you!
Where do prehistoric reptiles like to go on vacation? To the dino-shore.
When the egg saw the pan, it was terri-fried.
Professor: "What's a hydraulic ram used for?" "It's where you get steel wool!"
No one likes eating outside in the winter.
It’s frost come, frost served.
How did the ghost get from New York to London? British Scare-ways.
Why was the big white tiger angry with his other Siberian tiger friend? Because he bleached him while grooming.
On Mother's Day we went strawberry picking and made a jam from the fruits of our labor.
Another truck crashed further down the road; this one was carrying wigs. The police are combing the area.
“Halloween” = an excuse for girls to dress up like sluts.
Irish I had another Guinness to drink.
What do you call a woman with a frog on her head?
Lily.
Where do you bury dead people? Asymmetry
I wish that I could be the coronary artery of my wife so that I would be wrapped around her heart.
The female janitor at my office asked me if I would like to smoke some weed with her.
I said no. I can't deal with high maintenance women.
Why does a duck say quack?
Because it can’t say moo.
He’s an elf-made man.
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he likes cool music...
Why do neurons like e-mail?
The love messages.
What do you call a bat with ebola? African batman.
What do volleyball players watch during their free time? They watch Spike TV.
If you go to Medieval Times and watch the jousts, there is a sir charge.
What do you drink if you want to freshen your breath? Mint-Tea.
It's almost impossible to tell someone if a vacuum works or not.
Either it sucks or it sucks.
You are pitcher perfect.
I always put my money in drums
Because it’s a sound investment.
The artist thought she was all that and pen some.
The truck load of tortoise that crushed caused a turtle disaster.
Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
The lettuce was ahead while the tomato tried to ketchup.
Why did the cranberries turn red?
They saw the turkey dressing!
We all know that the New England Patriots have their soup in the Super Bowl.
My leaf blower doesn’t work. It just sucks!
Dublin’ the fun.
We Rodin a taxi around the city after dark.
Go to BabaMail
