Why did the bus driver take a long break? He needed a wheel-y good rest!
What happens when an onion burps at the most awkward time? It releases tear gas.
I was pretty mad when the air conditioner stopped working...
I lost my cool.
I like my wine like I like my medieval cities.
Fortified.
What do you call leftover lettuce?
The romaines.
Why is it so hard to contact a pirate? He leaves his phone off the hooks.
Why did the baseball batter go crazy?
Because the pitcher only threw scewballs.
You are the best, I feel so peachy when I am with you!
How do you hold a bat?
By the wings.
When the elves are clapping for their boss, we call it Santapplause.
In what state is the Amazon River? It is in the liquid state.
What is at the end of a rainbow?
The letter W.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
Why was red in awe of orange?
“Because orange blue green.”
Q: What kind of desserts does a turkey like?
A: Peach gobbler.
Did you hear about the bread party? It’s scone be a lot of fun, and wheat love for you to join us.
It’s raining cats and dogs today - I just hope it doesn’t rain deer!
My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp.
I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again
How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman?
By his net income.
Don't send our invitations to a viking themed wedding until the date is set in stone
Or they'll be runed
My wife and I have 3 beautiful children...
And 3 out of 5 ain't bad.
The directions for my new dandruff shampoo are very confusing.
It's a real head-scratcher!
Defeat in soccer is only bitter if you swallow it.
I grew facial hair without telling anyone.
It's my secret 'stache.
Are there any funny red wine puns at BabaMail Jokes?
You bet Shiraz there are!
What's a camel's favorite part of a meal?
Desert!
The Paddington bears don’t eat lots of marmalade sandwiches because they are already stuffed.
I went to the Red Cross to donate blood.
They threw me out and said "We don't want your type here!"
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
What do you say to a procrastinating pig? Listen, bud, it’s snout or never.
Why are cats such great singers? Because they’re very mewsical
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
We caught the drummer of our band masturbating over his drum kit...
I guess the pervert thinks of them as s*x cymbals.
What happens if an elf catches you being naughty?
Yule be sorry!
I hate getting tide down in one place. So let's take an ad-van-ture.
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat?
A dirty kid!
Why couldn’t the witch have children? Her husband had a hallow weenie.
How do you make dog bread?
Just use collie flour.
My father and grandfather work for the DMV.
I come from a long line of long lines.
What are crisp, like milk and go 'eek, eek, eek' when you eat them? Mice Krispies!
What did the duck say when he dropped the dishes?
“I hope I didn’t quack any.”
A man has been arrested in South Africa for shooting a giant chess set
What's wrong with those big game hunters?!
Why did they take Polly away?
He went crackers!
The man next to her on the train spilled coffee all over her shirt. She responded by showing him dis-stain.
Where do the monkeys get their gossip?
They hear it on the ape vine.
What do you see at a funeral for a piece of fruit? Apple-bearer.
When does a leprechaun cross the road?
Just like everyone - when it's green!
Which kind of jokes do gnomes like to tell?
Elf-deprecating puns.
Why did the computer crash?
It had a bad driver!
Why are geologists good at stand up comedy?
They know really “dirty” jokes.
Go to BabaMail
