What do you call a guy who only rides children's bicycles?
A pedalphile
My Physics teacher said I have no potential.
Joke's on her, I just bought a ladder.
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
Why was Tony Soprano fat? Cause he thought getting a slice of the pie was a piece of cake.
Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
Samson. He brought the house down.
How do you get down off an penguin?
You don’t – you get down off a duck.
Clean water is like password
Not everyone has access to it.
Did Rudolph go to school?
No, he was elf taught!
Why shouldn't you lend a geologist money? They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
Why should you you stand on the service line? So that you can order ice cream.
Why did the crazy man lose his job at the dairy factory? He was a danger to himself and udders.
What does a English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning? "Excuse Me... ahem... To be or not to be roasted, that is the question!"
A bald man walks into the Hair Club. “I’d like to buy a hair piece if the price is right.”
Hair Club Salesperson: “Well sir, how much do you want toupee?”
What did the deer say to her friend when she needed assistance?
“Could you doe me a favour?”
Why did the elephant ask to borrow a suitcase?
Because he only had a little trunk.
To the person who has been eating all of my mixed nuts.
I'm going to cashew.
We all know that rooms are just empty spaces, and no one can even dream of making a delicacy out of them. The only room is the mushroom.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
What is an electrician’s favorite flavor of ice cream? Shock-a-lot.”
What do you call referential cheese?
Feta.
Ow did the millionaire gardener get rich so quickly?
He was running a huge pansy scheme.
A lot of conflict in the Wild West could have been avoided if the cowboy city planners had just made their towns big enough for everyone.
“Mr. Jones, I’ve reviewed this case very carefully,” said the divorce court judge, “And I’ve decided to give your wife $300 a week.”
“That’s very fair, your honor,” said the husband.
“I’ll try and send her a few bucks myself every now and then too.”
What did the mushroom request when booking his hotel? A shroom with a view, please!
Why was the coffee-shop worker fired? He kept showing up in a Tea-shirt.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
What is a nerdy alligator’s favorite programming language?
Jaw-va.
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
I think I'm getting curvature of the spine...
I haven't seen a doctor yet, it's just a hunch.
How many volleyball referees do you need to screw in a light bulb? None because they are always in the dark.
Why didn't the Romans have algebra?
Because X always equaled 10!
It’s the most wine-derful time of the year.
The beaver offered some freshly streamed buns to his guests.
What has 6 legs, red hair, and flies?
No, seriously. This thing is scaring the heck out me.
How did the blond define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam? Fear of utility bills.
Poured beer over my garden before planting the lawn. I hoped the grass would come up half cut.
What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
What did the man say after spending hours skiing?
"I'm starving, can I avalanche?"
A son asked his dad: "Dad, are we pyromaniacs?"
The dad responded with: "Yes, we arson."
A friend got to the final of the local model railway competition. He lost on points.
What is a ghost’s favorite carnival ride? The rollerghoster.
The nut stayed c-almond and collected during the earthquake.
Why should you never mention the number 288?
Because it’s two gross.
Did you know Teslas don't have that new car smell?
They have more of an Elon Musk.
How much far can you see with your naked eyes, on a clear day? 92,955,807 miles (to the sun).
What did the gangster say to Julius Cesar?
Easter is grammatically incorrect.
We should say more east.
Have you heard about the pig who killed his own farmer? He did it to save his bacon.
Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
Pink is the early bird of the rainbow colors, it's always the first to rose and shine.
Go to BabaMail
