Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.
Did you hear about the cloud who became king? He rained for years.
What did the teenage horse say when her phone broke?
I canter even.
Why did the hobbit set his cell phone to vibrate?
He was afraid the ring would give him away.
Why did Santa go to a psychiatrist? He no longer believed in himself.
How do blind folks buy homes in hot markets?
Sight unseen.
Never laugh at your spouse’s choice… You’re one of them.
What kind of car does a mouse drive?
A mini van.
I like to tell this one joke about homemade bombs
But it always blows up in my face.
The artist was great. He could always draw a crowd.
Eddie edited it.
The umpire kept answering his phone during the softball game.
He said he didn't want to miss any calls.
A gang of ravens scared off individual crows and cornered them together. Well, you can say that a conspiracy of ravens preplanned a murder of crows.
In one Fall swoop, it's autumn again!
My wife asked me, “Did you fog up the bathroom mirror again?”
I said, “I don’t see myself doing that.”
Why are frogs good at baseball?
Because they catch a lot of fly balls.
My dad used to say "the sky's the limit"
Which is probably why he got fired from his job at N.A.S.A.
Lost on a mountain, you can collect rainwater to drink during storms.
Otherwise, you just have to make dew.
What did the dolphin do to the woman who was rude to it?
Flipper off!
The king and queen of the animal kingdom were having marriage trouble.
"You're a cheetah!" said one to the other. "Oh yeah?" she replied,
"You're a lion!"
Whichever gator stole all the food, we'll catch the crook-a-dile.
On a keyboard, nothing is under control.
I can't hear out of my ear...
It's really EAR-itating.
Where does a Knights templar keep his valuables?
A deus vult
What is ice cream’s favorite TV show?
Game of Cones.
What is the similarity between my wallet and an onion? Whenever I open both of them, I cry.
All things must grass.
An angry fruit yells at traffic in front of them
“Mango!”
Why was the little bee sent to bed without supper?
Because he wouldn't beehive.
What do you call a veterinarian that specializes in canines?
A dogtor.
The Doctor could tell right away the bucket was sick.
It was looking a bit pale.
If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer teamed up together, would they be alloys?
The crow decided to dress up as Corvid-19 virus for the Halloween costume party.
Where do gorillas go to after work?
The monkey bars.
What do you call a baker whose parents are siblings?
Inbred.
Congrats on proving that getting older doesn’t mean getting wiser.
What did Beethoven say to Johann Sebastian when he was helping him parallel park?
“Bach it up.”
I bought a wig for my wife, at a discount store...
Didn't want toupee full price.
Having a ball this weekend with my best friends
I used to be a narcissist.
But now look at me.
What do you call a Mongolian leader who got struck by lightning
Shocka Khan.
What temperature do you set a toy oven?
Faux hundred degrees.
I was so tired. I needed a sea-esta on the beach.
Which Oiler great had a soft spot for Indian food? Jari Curry.
Why do trees always get hired? They have the right qual-leaf-ications.
What happens when you drink beer from a cup?
You both get drunk.
Why did the bowlegged cowboy get fired?
Because he couldn't keep his calves together!
Where did the independent cat decide to live? In Catalonia!
Did you hear about the monkeys who shared an Amazon account?
They were prime mates.
What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
Go to BabaMail
