When is it okay to wash your shoes in the toilet?
When there's a bidet. People use them to wash their booties.
I'm going to combine my interests of taxidermy and bomb making
by making you an otter you can't defuse.
Why did the monster call his werewolf “Frost”?
Because frost bites!
What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? Chocolate Chip Wookiee.
What martial art does Earth know?
Geo-Jitsu.
Why did the elf use a duck to wake him on Christmas morning?
So he could be up at the quack of dawn!
The watermelon thief was charged with robbery with violence, but the judge later changed that to a minor felony; or melony as he put it.
Where does Sasquatch store his stuff while he's out on a hike?
In a big footlocker.
A mountain biker was chased by a Grizzly this morning. He bearly made it.
Don’t make such a Dreyfus about it.
Wife was in the hospital and the nurse said she was calling the doctor to put in an IV
When he showed up, I said to him "I thought there'd be four of you".
Why did the hipster drown?
He went ice Skating before it was cool.
What does Bigfoot say when he sees campers in sleeping bags?
- Yum, Hot Pockets!
What do sloths make when it snows? Slow Angels.
My sister wanted to marry the postman
but our parents didn't letter.
Why do you never see koalas wearing shoes? Because they love going bearfoot.
Why don’t cows drink artificial milk? It’s too pow-dairy.
What do you call a man with no body and no nose?
Nobody knows
What do fashionable mountains wear when it's cold? An ice cap.
A guy wearing a suit and tie walks into a bar with an alligator…
He walks up to the bartender and asks, “Do you serve lawyers here?”
“Yes sir, we do,” says the bartender.
The guy smiles and says, “Great. Then I’ll have a beer, and my ‘gator will have a lawyer.”
Why did the cow wear a bell around her neck?
Because her horn didn’t work.
If you get married out on sea or in a boat...
is that a row-mance?
When I woke up from my accident, I was shocked when the doctors told me I broke all my fingers.
It was hard to grasp.
Whats the difference between and orchestra and a bull? On the bull the horns are in the front and the a***ole is in the back.
What did the artist tell his greatest nemesis? I challenge you to a doodle!
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!
What kind of dog sniffs out flowers?
A bud hound.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
Q: Where can a tornado be jailed?
A: In a high pressure cell.
What do you get when a duck bends over?
It’s Buttquack
My computer wants to build a snowman.
It's frozen.
In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?
When the proposal of building a parking lot was given to Richard III, he told said, "Over my dead body."
Why don't pets make good astronauts?
They're afraid of the spay station
Whale, hello there.
Why shouldn’t you tell a secret on a farm? Because the corn has ears.
What do you call a smartass bird of prey?
A know it owl.
Why did Moses cross the Red Sea?
To get to the other side.
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
Q: Why couldn’t the orange believe that her friend had let her down?
A: This was because citrus-ted him!
The informant obtained their information by burying themselves in the ground, disguised with a crown and some rind. Police called him the pineapple plant.
Bobby Bippy bought a bat.
Bobby Bippy bought a ball.
With his bat Bob banged the ball
Banged it bump against the wall
But so boldly Bobby banged it
That he burst his rubber ball
"Boo!" cried Bobby
Bad luck ball
Bad luck Bobby, bad luck ball
Now to drown his many troubles
Bobby Bippy's blowing bubbles.
Let’s shell-ebrate good times and tan lines.
What family does Maiasaur belong to? I don't think any families in our neighborhood have one!
I had a really good fantasy football team.
Then, My Luck ran out.
My friend went bald years ago, but still carries his old comb with him.
He just can’t part with it.
What do you call corn with red, white and blue kernels?
Americorn.
Q. Why do educated gorillas like the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 11 and 13?
A. 'Cause they're prime apes.
The navy is now taking dogs along on their submarines
They're subwoofers
Go to BabaMail
